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May 07, 2011
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We All Are! are we?
We All Are! are we?
When my mind flows
The waterfalls feel shy,
The Niagara Falls would still
As my words
Their noises kill…
But then I'm no Niagra
With water falling by the tons!
A lonely soul
Who is simply toying
with
Lap top buttons…
We all are
Say Poets here,
But are we!
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
judyanne
14 years 2 months ago
beautiful loved
'When my mind flows
The waterfalls feel shy'
- wonderful
however, i don't know quite what you mean by
'But then I'm no waterfall
By the tons' - i think it needs just a little more here....
love judy
loved
14 years 2 months ago
If you have seen the Niagra Falls
But then I'm no waterfall
By the tons
millions of tons overflow each minute
and the mist hides the fall
for a moment,
metaphorically the words i use
perhaps don't convey
what my limited capacity of words flow can do
would you like to suggest my view???
thanks judy to uuuuuuuuuuu
can you rephrase it
twill do
judyanne
14 years 2 months ago
perhaps something like
but then i'm no niagra
with water falling by the tons ???
love judy
loved
14 years 2 months ago
Thanks done
But then I'm no Niagra
with water falling by the tons!
loved
14 years 2 months ago
please do visit
during summer
when ships take u upto the fall
the ships are also called
MISTS
if I rightly recall