The Unforgiving Sea.

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "The Unforgiving Sea" demonstrates a strong command of imagery and metaphor, creating a vivid and desolate landscape. However, there are areas where the poem could be improved.

Firstly, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm. The meter seems to vary from line to line, which can disrupt the flow of the poem. For example, the second line of the first stanza has a different rhythm than the first line. Consistency in rhythm can help to create a more immersive and engaging reading experience.

Secondly, the poem could also benefit from more varied sentence structures. Most of the sentences in the poem are simple sentences, which can make the poem feel somewhat monotonous. Incorporating more complex sentence structures can add depth and complexity to the poem.

Lastly, while the poem's use of imagery is generally effective, there are instances where the imagery could be more specific. For instance, the line "The sun sears hot from cobalt sky" could be more impactful if the imagery were more precise. Instead of "cobalt sky," perhaps a more specific description of the sky could be used.

In conclusion, while the poem demonstrates a strong command of imagery and metaphor, it could be improved by incorporating a more consistent rhythm, more varied sentence structures, and more specific imagery.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

This initially made me think of a war-torn village somewhere, but right in the middle of Stanza 3, I felt positive this is about a sandcastle village...is it so?

Thomas

I liked your poem, its rhythm, regardless of Neopoet Al. I am really not happy with Al’s comments most of the time!
Good poem, I liked it very much. Your imagery about the sea was right on!

Enjoyed the rhyme and rhythm. Couple of suggestions -

The sun sears hot from cobalt sky
To scorch a land where all things die:

But the jealous sea has no soul

If, in the first stanza, all things die, can the insects yet be playing?

Hello, Alex,
A desolate, harsh feeling throughout. Such an eerie sense, I can't help but wonder why the sea became so destructive and jealous. Wonderful imagery.
Thank you,
L