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Jan 20, 2025
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1
looking through a shadow
where time couldn’t belong
Is there a certain way to meet the end
the space between breaths
comes to stillness
calling where heaven graces
a feeling from a memory
changes the direction
lenses of patterned light
cast onto the room
when it receives me
I’m held completely
and miss the story that reminds of promise
where I can hold you up from something
Is there a certain way to meet the end
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
5 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem delves into themes of time, memory, and connection, creating a sense of contemplation and reflection. The imagery of looking through a shadow and the space between breaths evokes a sense of introspection and transition. The repetition of the line "Is there a certain way to meet the end" adds a reflective and questioning tone to the poem.
One suggestion for improvement could be to further develop the imagery and metaphors used in the poem to enhance the reader's engagement and understanding. Exploring the connections between the different elements introduced in the poem could help create a more cohesive and impactful piece. Additionally, considering the pacing and structure of the poem could help enhance its overall flow and impact on the reader.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
5 months 2 weeks ago
I was...
intrigued by two of the last lines:
"and miss the story of what reminds of promise"
"where I can hold you up from something.
I needed more about that. ~ Geezer.
.