Of The Lilac

I will adore her delicate face,
touch her tender cheek, unguarded.
But it will be her bouquet
that will make me neglect
all else belonging to the moment.

Ascending beyond the Angels,
I will hardly remember
this cold day of January,
as she sleeps here on this branch
blanketed in a dusting of snow.

This cold day,
where I am still
charmed by her visit
last Spring.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: The anticipation of the Lilac blossom helps me get through the winter - especially the long days of January. Edited.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Billy Collins, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.

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Comments

Ray Miller

5 months 1 week ago

Of The Lilac

Enjoyed the poem. Heaven, Paradise and Nirvana might be a bit excessive.

Lavender

5 months 1 week ago

Yep, not pleased with all that at all. Excessive yes, but mainly I know I am telling rather than showing. It assumes the reader knows of heaven, paradise, and Nirvana. I want to bring in an action or a response to the sensation the lilac gives me, and I'm finding it hard to zero in on that. Obviously it is surreal... I'll keep working on this one! Thank you for your time!
L

Ruby Lord

5 months 1 week ago

Hi Lavender, a really good

Hi Lavender, a really good poem but I can see what you and Ray are getting at.
How about this for the sense of heaven when you smell the flowers perfume? Inhale, absorb, savour or drift? Hope this helps? Ruby xx

Lavender

5 months 1 week ago

Hello, Ruby,

Hard to find the right words or action, and I appreciate your suggestions. I'm gonna give it a whirl with an edit or two. Lilac bushes - there are no words!
Thank you for your help with this!
Lx