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Feb 04, 2025
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Apprehension
She catches him up and tells him how much
they all miss that laconic delivery,
enthusing about the open mic
at the Abbey Café of a Thursday.
He remembers clambering up on stage
too early, too late, the night hanging on
how loud the crowd was applauding,
or lighting turned down like a thumb.
That utterance of himself being heard,
a piano stuttering down terrace steps;
his mouth dried up and a sideways look
at the bar so reflective and wet.
She says they’ve started serving beer
and the venue is small and intimate;
the iambic rise and fall of her breasts
is blinding him to their pointlessness.
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
4 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Lavender
4 months 2 weeks ago
Apprehension
Hello, Ray,
At this point, this piece has been opened 6 times, and 3 of them are by me. I keep coming back to this. It is hypnotizing. I can feel the anxiety.
"The utterance of himself being heard,
a piano stuttering down terrace steps..."
Absorbing poetry. I do have second thoughts about the title. "Apprehension" certainly fits by design and definition, but the word poetically sounds soft and mysterious. To me, (and it may just be me) this feels a bit more tense. The word "angst" comes to mind, meaning the same thing but almost refusing to leave the throat, stifled. At any rate, this is the way your poem feels to me.
Thank you!
L
Ray Miller
4 months 2 weeks ago
Apprehension
Thanks, Lavender. Apprehension seemed apt due to anxiety/stage fright and the act of being apprehended in the opening line. I used to be a "performance poet" until I heard a recording of myself and discovered I didn't like the sound of my own voice.
Lavender
4 months 2 weeks ago
Hello, Ray,
I assumed the poem was alluding to such - your poetry is perfect to be heard aloud. Most of your poems contain quite the observation and narrative. And I understand now the connection with the title and the first line.
Thank you!
L