The Black Door

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "The Black Door" is a narrative poem that tells a story with a suspenseful and gothic atmosphere. The use of old English, parchment paper, sandalwood, a castle, and a carriage contribute to the creation of a dark, mysterious, and historical setting.

The poem could benefit from more consistent use of meter and rhyme. The first stanza has an ABAB rhyme scheme, but this is not maintained throughout the rest of the poem. Consistent meter and rhyme can provide a rhythmic structure that enhances the reading experience.

The poem could also benefit from more show and less tell. For example, instead of stating "quivering with anticipation, wanting more," the poem could describe the actions or emotions that convey this anticipation and desire.

The ending of the poem is quite dramatic, with the revelation of the admirer as a vampire. However, the transition to this revelation is abrupt. The poem could build up to this moment more gradually, perhaps by introducing hints or foreshadowing earlier in the poem.

Finally, the poem could make better use of sensory details. While there are some sensory details, such as the smell of sandalwood and the cold air, there could be more, especially related to sound and touch. This would make the poem more immersive and vivid.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

she must have wanted it badly behind the black door.
Nice read,
Mark

she must have wanted it badly behind the black door.
Nice read,
Mark

Fine opening stanza, the differing line lengths make it a bumpy read in places and the switch in the rhyme sequence in the penultimate stanza doesn't help.

Hi Rose, I like your poem. The subject is appealing and it reminded me of The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter.
You know what I'm like for picking up on repetitions? I think sandalwood could be replaced by incense in the second stanza?
Incense graced her fingertips,
Good poem, love the subject and it did give me images of one of my favourite horror genres.Thank you, Ruby xx

This has absolutely sent a chill down my spine.
I don't agree with AI on introducing the vampire admirer before as this might become more predictable and with less suspense. I thought the title and language use were enough to do the job.
Much enjoyed
Best wishes.

As always Rose i love your poems and the dark side you often portray. I do not agree with Al most of the time.
I believe that
Poetry is more than rhyme
Or words dictated by the form.
It is what is inside us
It’s our thoughts and feelings
About what we see
Put into images uniquely
Our own

Your poems are uniquely your own!

Thank you for gifting us with this poem formed in your beautiful dark-side! I love it, from start to finish! good luck on the contest.

fondly, Cat

...there is something forebodingly compelling about a door that's uncoloured black. I especially liked the twist in the final stanza when the unbridled inhibitions came fatefully full circle.
A real gem.

Thomas

Another expressive poem a great one in fact! I feel some of the darkness which surrounds you and all of us.I also feel some strange feeling of pleasure. I hope your heath is good and please keep using your unique gift. It benefits everyone here. Good luck and may good fortune follow you. Even though I know that you dwell in dark thought.

I loved the narrative behind this, bleak and foreboding like an old black and white film. However I feel it lacked flow, seemed very jumpy, a pity because I think if you could get the rhythm right it would be a bit of a classic. Alex