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Feb 10, 2025
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Commanding the Wind
Seated upon the electric
wires are the birds who
cause the gentle breezes
to whisper near our ears.
The birds flee, though,
when the caller of the
great winds batter our
ears and eyes and lives.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
4 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The imagery of birds perched on electric wires and their influence on the wind is vivid and intriguing. The contrast between the gentle breezes they create and the powerful winds that follow when they flee is striking. However, the transition between these two ideas could be smoother to enhance the flow of the poem. Additionally, consider exploring more sensory details to further engage the reader and create a richer experience. Overall, this piece shows promise and could benefit from further refinement to strengthen its impact.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact