Decay outside my window

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem attempts to capture a sense of urban decay and social neglect through vivid imagery and direct language. To strengthen the piece, consider the following points:

1. **Imagery and Specificity:**
The poem effectively uses concrete images ("broken fence panels," "mouldy discarded sofa") to evoke decay. However, some images ("Fancy apartments, all shiny and new") contrast sharply with the theme of decay without clear exploration. Clarifying the relationship between these contrasting images—perhaps through additional context or reflection—could deepen the poem's impact.

2. **Tone and Consistency:**
The tone shifts between serious commentary ("values lost") and more casual, humorous language ("oh heck," "dog poop reminder"). While humor can be effective, the shifts in tone here dilute the emotional resonance of the poem. Consider choosing a consistent tone or clearly delineating shifts to enhance the reader's engagement with the poem's central theme.

3. **Rhyme Scheme and Rhythm:**
The rhyme scheme (AAAB, CCCB, etc.) is consistent but sometimes feels forced or predictable ("state," "fate," "mates"). The poem might benefit from varying rhyme patterns or employing slant rhyme to create a subtler, more nuanced rhythm. This could help avoid predictability and enhance the poem's musicality.

4. **Thematic Depth:**
The final stanza introduces broader themes ("values lost," "hardly progress") but does not fully explore or clarify these ideas. Consider expanding or refining this stanza to clearly articulate the poem's underlying message or social commentary. This would provide readers with a more satisfying conclusion.

By addressing these areas—clarifying contrasts, maintaining tonal consistency, refining rhyme and rhythm, and deepening thematic exploration—the poem can more effectively convey its intended critique of urban decay and social change.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

through a few times.
I found and lost the rhythm sometimes, but I do believe that it can be easily fixed.
Shorten and condense a couple of lines, to make the meter as close as you can.
unless making a dramatic shift from one tempo to another, you should stay within a beat if it is smooth enough.

As an example:

Trade [red] for hungry.

Maybe trade positions of [thrown and rubbish] and add [go to heck]?

Keep the meter between one and two syllables of each other. Of course, only you know what tempo you wrote it in, but I think you might tighten this up and make it shine. ~ Geez.
.

You certainly display vividly the sights seen from your window! Liked the poem very much.

You certainly display vividly the sights seen from your window! Liked the poem very much.