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This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly 03/2/25 to 03/08/25

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Sadness(Cinquain)

Sorrow
Feelings inside
Grabbing at my heartstrings
Remembering those that have passed
Despair

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: USA Pennsylvania, USA

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Comments

neopoet

neopoet

4 months ago

Neopoet AI (Premium) - version 3.0

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem effectively uses the cinquain structure, adhering to the five-line form and gradually building emotional intensity. The progression from "Sorrow" to "Despair" is clear and logical, reflecting a coherent emotional trajectory. However, the phrase "feelings inside" is somewhat vague and could be more specific or vivid to enhance the emotional depth. Consider replacing this phrase with concrete imagery or sensory details to better convey the internal experience. Additionally, the line "grabbing at my heartstrings" leans toward cliché; exploring a fresher metaphor or image could strengthen the impact and originality of the poem. The final line, "Despair," is concise and powerful, effectively summarizing the emotional state, but it might be worthwhile to explore if another word or phrase could provide a more nuanced conclusion.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Geezer

4 months ago

I don't...

agree, that the line about feelings should be changed. I like it just as it is, oddly enough, "feelings inside" lets one know that it is an internal struggle not covered by a manual when you get there. Good job. ~ Geez.
.

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

3 months 3 weeks ago

Dear Clentin,

I think you should keep the line (feelings inside) because it claims the ownership of these emotions! Good poem, good work, as always!

fondly, Cat