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Mar 04, 2025
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Morning Breeze
When morning sunshine hit the side of your face.
The shadow may bring sadness to your eyes.
Eyes flooded with tears .
Butterflies in the wind.
Wind howling across the ocean breeze.
Brings a flicker of light In the sky above
My eyes have healed The tears within
Making my ❤️ bring Smiles with Butterflies in the wind.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
4 months ago
Neopoet AI - version 2.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Consider clarifying the central imagery and emotional progression of the poem. Currently, the relationship between sadness, tears, butterflies, and healing is somewhat ambiguous. For instance, the phrase "Butterflies in the wind" appears twice but its symbolic meaning remains unclear. Clarifying how butterflies relate to the emotional shift from sadness to healing could strengthen the poem's coherence. Additionally, the transition from the second to the third stanza ("Wind howling across the ocean breeze. Brings a flicker of light...") could benefit from more explicit connective imagery or emotional logic to enhance readability and thematic continuity. Finally, consider revising punctuation and capitalization for consistency and clarity, as irregularities may distract readers from fully engaging with the poem's emotional content.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Mary Derringer
4 months ago
Thank you
I appreciate your candid thoughts. I will try to clarify the phrasing some more.
Clentin
4 months ago
I liked your poem and hope
I liked your poem and hope you will continue to submit new poems.
.
Lavender
4 months ago
Morning Breeze
Hello, Mary,
And welcome to Neopoet. I read your very touching bio, and this beautiful poem reflects so much of your life. Thank you for sharing,
Warm regards, and I look forward to reading more of your work,
Lavender