Never Free...

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem addresses themes of disillusionment, societal frustration, and a sense of helplessness within a structured rhyme scheme. To strengthen the poem, consider the following points:

1. **Imagery and Specificity:**
The poem currently relies heavily on general statements ("Promises made," "government greed," "work hard"). Introducing more concrete imagery or specific examples could make the emotional resonance stronger and more relatable.

2. **Consistency of Tone:**
The tone shifts slightly between stanzas—from resignation ("you're going to get screwed") to a more casual encouragement ("now, it's time to relax"), then back to cynicism. Clarifying or smoothing these tonal shifts could enhance the poem's overall coherence and emotional impact.

3. **Rhyme and Rhythm:**
The rhyme scheme is clear and consistent, but at times the rhythm feels forced or overly simplistic ("you've paid you dues, now, it's time to relax"). Consider varying the rhythm or employing more nuanced phrasing to avoid predictability and enhance the reader's engagement.

4. **Language and Word Choice:**
Some phrases ("you're going to get screwed," "the 'Man's' axe") feel informal or colloquial compared to the rest of the poem. Consider whether these expressions align well with the poem's intended tone. If the poem aims for a more serious critique, more precise or evocative language might better serve its purpose.

5. **Depth and Complexity of Ideas:**
The poem touches on important and complex societal issues but remains somewhat surface-level. Exploring the reasons behind these conditions or offering a more nuanced reflection could deepen the reader's engagement and provoke further thought.

By addressing these areas—particularly through more vivid imagery, consistent tone, careful word choice, and deeper exploration of the subject—the poem can achieve greater emotional impact and resonance.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Hi Geezer, a fitting response to the challenge. I can read the doubt and frustration in your verses. We have both suffered with infuriating governments. I don't know what the future holds for America right now.
This line, "the deal was sealed, while all of you slept."
and this is only my suggestion, please ignore it if you feel it doesn't give you what you are looking for.
"the deal was sealed, while you all slept." Makes it a little tighter?
Take care, Ruby xx

I have been wondering about your whereabouts as it has been a while.... I am so glad to see you posting! This poem expresses your frustration with a low growl. There days when I cannot express my feelings on our government, the words get stuck in my throat and I just sputter.

thank you for this write, very fondly, Cat

I am a bad little witch, slapped a target on his fat @ss! I wonder what I will have to do to pay for it.