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Mar 09, 2025
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As pelicans fly by in loose formation
Went searching for an idiom
instead found an axiom
reflecting on a parable
today’s news is mostly terrible
Social structure isn’t paramount
context is what it’s all about
protesters scream stomp and shout
but can’t get the damned spot out
Though yesteryear is a distant memory
common sense is not heresy
so many just want to be let be
live their lives safe and free
As history constantly repeats itself
kindness is best for mental health
compassion serves better than wealth
comes down to putting others above yourself
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
neopoet
3 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI - version 2.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
It is not feasible to offer feedback.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Frederick Kesner
2 months 2 weeks ago
Ah, I see the "not feasible"
Ah, I see the "not feasible" notification here as well. I guess AI has a thing or two to learn still. But if it doesn't interact, it never will. Perhaps it need to be calibrated to "age appropriate" interaction as one would assume AI to be "young" or younger in its onroad experience. But that7s an aside.
The opening stanza was quite compact and jam-packed, making the reader pause to think. By the third stanza we get a sense of its core and indeed isn't that how most want to live their lives, free, unhindered, and safe. But it seems that everyone is in everybody else's knickers and fridges these days. In the selfie generation it seems others don't matter as much as for their thumbs up, like, follow, and subscribe. In that way we become on the other end of the spectrum truly just numbers to those above, below, and around us. How crazily disconnected we have become. (sigh)
Much food for thought here. :-)
Richard Milne
2 months 2 weeks ago
Thanks so much...
...for taking the time to review and comment; indeed there is much to unpack in your thoughtful response, which is much appreciated.
I find the AI tolerable at times but often (on the rare occasions it can actually generate a response) find that, even in the things others on these comment boards praise it for, there seems to be a disconnect between what it sees and what is actually written. For instance, on another poem of mine, the AI said it did not have a consistent structure, though in reality the poem had a very clear 8-4-4 8-4-4 structure, with a consistent rhyming scheme in the 8-line stanzas and the 4-line stanzas. But the AI seemed totally thrown off by the transition from the first 8-4-4 set to the second 8-4-4 set. That doesn't speak well for whoever created the metrics that went into the algorithm,.
In any case, I much prefer actual human interaction. Again, abundant thanks for your response. Best to you in every aspect of your life.
Frederick Kesner
2 months 2 weeks ago
Totally agree with you there.
Totally agree with you there. At first I thought AI was dense or impervious to other pertinent data, and it appeared to doublethink itself as well. Perhaps the quality of its human interactions will raise its development and not the opposite which is painful to even think about.
See you around the site or on some other poetic interaction. Have an excellent weekend:-)
Candlewitch
2 months 2 weeks ago
Dear Richard,
I have taken to mostly ignoring the bulk of AI's prattle. Sometimes it has a good point or two, but mostly misses the mark. I agree with cripticbard's assessment of your poem, which I enjoyed reading. My favorite lines are:
As history constantly repeats itself
kindness is best for mental health
compassion serves better than wealth
comes down to putting others above yourself
Good work! Always, Cat
Richard Milne
2 months 1 week ago
Thanks Cat
I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond. All the best to you!
Ruby Lord
2 months 1 week ago
Hi Richard, I enjoyed the way
Hi Richard, I enjoyed the way your poem captured the daily grind, playful, emotional, yet quietly broken. It gave me the feeling that, like the world it reflects, it wasn’t meant to settle. The line “but can’t get the damned spot out” struck me as comic and bleak in equal measure, such a well-placed, Shakespearean turn. For me, that line does a lot of heavy lifting. Well done. Ruby xx
Richard Milne
2 months 1 week ago
Thank you Ruby!
Always great to receive comments that indicate a reader took some time with a piece. I really appreciate your feedback, and send you the warmest wishes for you in your writing, all your endeavors, and life. All the best, Richard