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Mar 12, 2025
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Trumpism, Oh heck! (Second installment)
Welcome to Trumpism mark two,
Buckle up, to see this through.
It's a darkness path for sure,
Trump's journey to procure.
Greenland's untapped wealth,
Trump may take you by stealth.
Vote rigging, something he'll hide?
Pretending you get to decide.
Oh Canada you are so brave,
In resisting this colonial wave.
I hope you can stay sovereign,
Amidst this trade war bothering.
Dear people of Gaza we hear you,
And saw what's sadly true.
Good media down the drain,
Brings disaster capitalism once again.
In renaming, Mexico's maritime space,
Now where's that laughing face?
Only the USA has this delusion,
There's no other such confusion.
Trade wars, land grabbing, and in-between,
Such crazy times can now be seen.
But economic collapse is on the way,
To pee on his bonfire,and ruin his day.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
3 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (Premium) - version 3.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem attempts to address contemporary political themes through satire and critique. However, several areas could benefit from revision to strengthen clarity, coherence, and impact.
Firstly, the poem covers multiple geopolitical issues—Greenland, Canada, Gaza, Mexico, trade wars, and economic collapse—without clearly establishing a central thematic connection. Narrowing the focus or explicitly clarifying the thematic link between these diverse topics would help readers better understand the intended critique.
Secondly, the language and imagery used are somewhat general and predictable ("darkness path," "untapped wealth," "colonial wave," "economic collapse"). Consider employing more precise and vivid imagery or metaphors to enhance originality and reader engagement.
Thirdly, the poem's rhythm and rhyme scheme occasionally feel forced, which detracts from the seriousness of the political commentary. For instance, the rhyme "wealth" and "stealth," or "brave" and "wave," comes across as simplistic and detracts from the complexity of the issues being discussed. Experimenting with varied rhyme schemes or even free verse might better suit the poem's critical tone.
Lastly, the final stanza's humorous tone ("pee on Trump's bonfire") undermines the seriousness of the preceding stanzas. If humor or satire is intentional, ensure it is consistently applied throughout the poem, or clearly signal the tonal shift to avoid confusion.
Overall, clarifying thematic coherence, refining imagery, reconsidering rhyme and rhythm choices, and maintaining tonal consistency would significantly improve the poem's effectiveness as political commentary.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
3 months 2 weeks ago
Without expressing...
my personal position, I'll say that as always, we should judge the work of the poet. I enjoyed the digs at the present administration, much as I would about any political figure. They all have some screwed up behavior if you ask me. I agree that some of the lines feel forced and if you were to work some of the bumps out, it would be to its effectiveness. ~ Geez.
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