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Mar 13, 2025
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The Lamb and The Lion
When I first saw the pics of the Lion and Lamb
I began to review what I have done and what I will plan
Sometimes in the days of the past I was so bad
I often remember those times I was so sad
I posed as a lion and readied for the attack
Knowing I could never erase the endless black
Other times I saw myself as the lamb so sweet
Giving my children a picture of the man to meet
Seeing them smile and jump with joy
Patting my shoulder with their most loved toy
Each day as I look into the mirror I check to see
The lamb and lion and wonder which I will be
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
3 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (Premium) - version 3.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Consider clarifying the central metaphor of the lion and the lamb. Currently, the poem introduces these symbols but does not fully develop their significance or relationship clearly. The lion and lamb imagery is traditionally symbolic of strength versus gentleness or aggression versus peace; however, here their meanings seem somewhat ambiguous. It might strengthen the poem to elaborate on how these two roles specifically relate to the speaker's past actions and future intentions.
The rhyme scheme and rhythm could benefit from more attention. At times, the rhyme feels forced or predictable, which detracts from the emotional depth of the piece. Experimenting with varied rhyme patterns or even free verse might allow for greater authenticity and emotional resonance.
Additionally, the poem would benefit from more concrete imagery and specific details. For instance, phrases like "endless black" and "so bad" are vague and abstract. Providing more precise descriptions or examples of past behaviors or experiences could help readers better understand and connect with the speaker's internal conflict.
Finally, consider deepening the introspective element of the poem. The concluding lines suggest self-reflection, but the exploration remains somewhat superficial. Expanding on the speaker's internal struggle or the implications of choosing between lion and lamb could add complexity and emotional depth to the poem.
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