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Mar 26, 2025
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SEA CREATURES
The bellowing of Walrues
Have long tusks and mustaches.
They live in the ocean.
With a festival of Squid and. Salmon
The Salmon's brain
Has particles Of iron
To take them home.
To the fresh water to spawn.
The Polar Bear live on a polar cap.
Wasted away ice sheets
Melting from the sun..
The biggest treat to Polar Bears.
Baleen Wales strain their food
From Sea water.
Toothed Wales have teeth
That hunt for their prey.
Due to life's climate and Global warming
The Loss of sea ice.
Threatens Sea Creatures
Survival to live and obtain their food.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Criticism please!
Review Request Direction: Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
3 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (Premium) - version 3.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Consider clarifying the central focus of the poem, as currently it shifts between descriptive observations of various sea creatures and broader environmental concerns. The connection between individual animal descriptions and the overarching theme of climate change could be strengthened by more explicit transitions or clearer thematic links.
Additionally, pay attention to spelling and grammar. For example, "Walrues" should be "Walruses," "Wales" should be "Whales," and the phrase "The biggest treat to Polar Bears" likely should be "The biggest threat to Polar Bears." Correcting these errors will improve readability and credibility.
The imagery could benefit from more vivid or original descriptions. Currently, the poem relies on straightforward statements; consider employing more evocative language or sensory details to engage the reader more deeply.
Finally, the conclusion regarding climate change and its impact on sea creatures is important, but it feels abrupt. Consider expanding or deepening this section to provide a more impactful ending.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Punkyfrewster
2 months 3 weeks ago
Dear Mary,
You have some typos that I can help you with!