Just a Breeze

I settle back in my chair
and feel the waltz of a Spring breeze.
I contemplate it's travels

simply to pass through here,
perhaps headed somewhere
it may be urgently needed as it waves
to the shore of my thoughts.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Hurry Spring!

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: San Francisco Bay Area - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Bukowski, Billy Collins, Ted Kooser, Haiku & Harvey Kurtzman (a visual poet, of sorts)

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Comments

Ruby Lord

3 months 3 weeks ago

Hi Michael, I enjoyed your

Hi Michael, I enjoyed your poem. The way you personified the breeze in this line gives it a lovely, reflective delicacy:

and feel the waltz of a Spring breeze.

I did wonder if carrying that personification, a bit further might help lift the poem even more?

simply to pass through here,
perhaps headed somewhere

These lines suggest a deeper meaning, but for me, they didn’t quite bring it to life emotionally. I’d have loved to feel the breeze, perhaps something along the lines of:

simply to graze my skin,
as if touching the shape of absence.

That’s just my opinion, of course, do feel free to ignore if it doesn’t sit right with you. I just wanted to share what came to mind while reading. Ruby xx

Michael Anthony

3 months 3 weeks ago

Thank you for your thoughtful

Thank you for your thoughtful comments Ruby! Really like your suggestion: "simply to graze my skin,
as if touching the shape of absence." Beautiful. Be well.

Best