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Adventures in Space
For years, a careless hand did fling,
Our earthly refuse, a discarded thing,
Into the void, a cosmic bin,
Where gravity would gather sin.
But shadows grew, a creeping blight,
As sunbeams failed, obscured from sight.
From darkness deep, new horrors crept,
Where tainted dust and metal slept.
Diseases bloomed, a morbid strain,
And whispers rose of endless pain.
Mass extinction loomed, a chilling dread,
A silent sentence on our head.
Then rose the Tesla, great relative, mind so bright,
An engineer of pure insight.
He forged a marvel, sleek and grand,
A space vacuum, held in his hand,
With jaws that shredded, fierce and keen,
A cosmic cleaner, yet unseen.
Deployed at last, a silent hum,
It gorged on garbage, overcome
With years of waste, a metal tide,
The vacuum roared, with naught to hide.
And slowly, surely, light returned,
As shadowed skies no longer burned.
The shredded junk, in cubes compressed,
A concentrated, weighty test.
No longer scattered, free to roam,
But bound in blocks, far from our home.
The Earth breathed deep, a vibrant hue,
Its poisoned air, now clean and new.
Those weighty cubes, on fiery trails,
Were launched afar, beyond the veils
Of our solar system's gentle sway,
To drift in darkness, far away.
The Earth was bright, a jewel reborn,
A hopeful promise on the morn.
And space debris, a haunting sign,
Became an ethic, truly fine.
A lesson learned, a solemn vow,
A cosmic litter, banished now.
Respected by all, the tale was told,
Of burdens lifted, brave and bold.
This final journey, deep and vast,
The last adventure built to last.
For Earth had learned, at heavy cost,
The sacred trust that must not be lost.
The stars remained, a pristine grace,
No longer marred by earthly trace.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Candlewitch
2 months 2 weeks ago
My Dearest Mark,
As I read this piece, I delightedly fell into step with the cadence of the musicality! It reminds me of the work of Simon and Garfunkel. Especially the rhythm of "Sounds of Silence". (which came to mind) Tell me, do you write lyrics? If not, you really should!
My favorite lines are:
"This final journey, deep and vast,
The last adventure built to last.
For Earth had learned, at heavy cost,
The sacred trust that must not be lost.
The stars remained, a pristine grace,
No longer marred by earthly trace."
I love them for their up-beat mood and style!
very fondly, Cat xxx
mark
2 months 2 weeks ago
Check
Your neo email please.
Candlewitch
2 months 2 weeks ago
:)
Done and done! thanks!
(the) cat
mark
2 months 2 weeks ago
Dear CAt
Thanks for sticking with this it was kinda long. Could have been a nove.l lol.
You are very kind, I make lyrics in the past lately. I enjoyed poetry of a topic of course.
Mark
Ruby Lord
2 months 2 weeks ago
Hi Mark, Your poem is
Hi Mark, Your poem is impressively crafted, tight meter, structure and rhyme, but I found the portrayal of Musk difficult to accept. Ruby xx
Candlewitch
2 months 2 weeks ago
*smiles ;)
I agree with Ruby on this. I have a feeling that you could be given a topic, right off a persons head and you could make an adventure in poetry out of it!
fondly, Cat
Geezer
2 months 2 weeks ago
With such...
obvious praise due you for the innovation of a space-vacuum, I think that your poem is cleaning up. ~ Geez.
.
mark
2 months 2 weeks ago
I think that works
Not quite as controvercial. Well known though.
Thanks,
Marlk
.