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Jokerface82
Jokerface82
Apr 09, 2025 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly 04/06/25 to 04/12/25 🏆 Winner

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Fill my eyes with stars

The velvet dome of night
was an explosion of
pyrotechnic silver burning
stars.
pin pointing, and poking
out of the expanse of
the universe. Winking,
like a flaming spread
of ice chips.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Uk, GBR

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

2 months 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI - version 2.0

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Fill my eyes with stars" effectively conveys the imagery of a starry night sky with vivid descriptions. The use of metaphors such as "pyrotechnic silver burning stars" and "flaming spread of ice chips" adds depth to the portrayal of the universe. However, consider exploring more varied poetic devices to enhance the overall impact of the poem. Additionally, focusing on refining the structure and flow of the verses could help create a more cohesive and engaging narrative for the reader.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Lavender

2 months 2 weeks ago

Fill My Eyes With Stars

Hello, Jokerface,
"... a flaming spread of ice chips." Dazzling like diamonds. Beautiful imagery, and poetry!
Thank you!
L

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

2 months 2 weeks ago

hello Jokerface!

I see in this poem you are practical and a romantic. A nice combination! I like it very much!

fondly, Cat

kowque

kowque

2 months 1 week ago

Wow wow wow

Im struggling to think of anything other than WOW