Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Apr 10, 2025
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
The Map of Scars
What a horrendous experience I encountered as a child.
My beloved pet named Fe Fe met his horrifying death.
Fe Fe was my cherished kitty.
He played with me. He let me dress him up and roll him around in my doll buggy. I loved Fe Fe.
It had been cold and raining for weeks and I missed Fe Fe
It was a day after school, my friend hollering at me to go upon our deck to our swimming pool.
To my surprise there was Fe Fe. laying in the cold water lifeless.
I cried and screamed.
Fe Fe had scratched the side of the liner in desperation, trying to escape his dismiss.
When my Mother returned home she reached Fe Fe and wrapped him up.
It was pouring rain but we had a funeral for Fe Fe.
We buried him outside my bedroom window.
Fe Fe rest in peace. I will always remember and love you.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Help me , if I need work.
Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
2 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI - version 2.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "The Map of Scars" effectively conveys a poignant and emotional experience surrounding the loss of a beloved pet. The use of vivid imagery, such as Fe Fe's playful interactions and the heartbreaking discovery of his lifeless body in the swimming pool, helps to create a strong emotional impact on the reader. The repetition of Fe Fe's name throughout the poem emphasizes the deep bond between the speaker and their pet.
One aspect that could be further developed is the exploration of the speaker's emotions and reflections on the experience. While the poem effectively captures the immediate grief and shock of Fe Fe's death, delving deeper into the speaker's internal turmoil, memories, and perhaps even lessons learned from this loss could add layers of complexity to the narrative.
Additionally, paying attention to the flow and structure of the poem could enhance its overall impact. Consider experimenting with line breaks, punctuation, and stanza organization to create a more dynamic and engaging rhythm for the reader.
Overall, "The Map of Scars"
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Candlewitch
2 months 2 weeks ago
Hello Mary,
When you are posting your poem, please wait AT Least thirty seconds before hitting the (Enter) button again. This will avoid the double entries of your poem.
thank you, Cat
Mary Derringer
2 months 2 weeks ago
Thank you so much , Cat.
Thank you so much , Cat.