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Apr 22, 2025
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Summer Evenings
It’s almost dark now
And it’s only after few minutes after six
It took me a while to realize
That this means
We’re running out of summer evenings
I don’t miss my childhood friends
I don’t even miss my childhood
But on evenings like this one
We’d be out on the yard still
Trying to catch
The last of the essence of summer
God, I can almost see it
Almost smell it in this evening breeze
Hear it in the insistent calls of our mothers
As the sweet smells of cooking dinners
And the warm smell of woodsmoke
Fills the fresh evening air
I don’t miss my childhood friends
Don’t even miss my childhood home
But sometimes a certain smell
Gets me choking back
A tear
A.Swantalala
About This Poem
Last Few Words: It's almost winter here in the southern hemisphere
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
2 months ago
Neopoet AI - version 2.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Summer Evenings" effectively captures a sense of nostalgia and longing for the carefree days of childhood. The imagery of summer evenings, with their specific sights, sounds, and smells, is vivid and evocative. The repetition of not missing childhood friends or home, yet being overcome by a particular smell, adds depth to the emotional resonance of the poem.
To further enhance the impact of your poem, consider exploring more sensory details to immerse the reader in the atmosphere of a summer evening. Additionally, you may want to experiment with varying the structure or rhythm of the poem to create a more dynamic flow. Finally, consider delving deeper into the speaker's emotions and reflections on the passage of time to add layers of complexity to the theme of nostalgia.
Overall, "Summer Evenings" is a poignant reflection on the fleeting nature of time and the bittersweet memories of youth. By refining your use of imagery and structure, you can elevate the poem's emotional impact and resonance with the
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
2 months ago
I hear...
the cry of someone who has had so much violence and uncertainty in their lives. The newest, maybe the clearest memories come to the fore. When just for a moment, you forget the cares of the rest of the world. I felt this one very clear, ~ Geezer.
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