Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
May 08, 2025
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Sounds From the Stream
The brook ripples
as it meanders along.
The fish fight
against the current
and the fishermen
while a girl on the
banks picks a daisy
…He loves me not…
He loves me!
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
1 month 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (Premium) - version 3.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Consider exploring the connection between the imagery of the brook and the girl's contemplation more explicitly. Currently, the poem presents two distinct scenes—the fish struggling against the current and the girl plucking petals—but the relationship between these images remains unclear. Clarifying how the natural imagery mirrors or contrasts the girl's emotional state could strengthen thematic coherence. Additionally, the shift from the fishermen to the girl feels abrupt; consider adding a transitional element or expanding slightly on how these scenes interact.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Rula
1 month 2 weeks ago
This is
simply wonderful
Wow!
Punkyfrewster
1 month 2 weeks ago
Rula,
Thank you for that! May the judges share your response! lol