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Mary Derringer
Mary Derringer
May 16, 2025 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the challenge:

05/25 The sound of nature 🏆 Winner

(Read More...)

A Gift of Nature

As a lonely flower seed
I was shot out the back
end of a blue jay
when she flew
over the meadow.
she had swallowed
me in the garden
where she spied me
laying cozy under the sun.
Briefly, I called her
mother before I passed
through her gullet like
a silent ghost.
In the blinking
of God's eye,
I was an orphan.
I trembled where I landed
alone in the soil.
That first night was a
lengthy night in early May.
The chilly rain filled
my furrow.
I called out for mercy when
a wolverine wandered by.
I cursed my luck.
I cursed the happenstances
of this world.
I smelled.
This was the gift
of obscurity.
I germinated, hidden
from the giants of Earth.
The jostling stalks,
the boisterous bloomers,
were my salvation.
I pushed through.
Yes, here I am
your tiny purple protrusion.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: This poem took me awhile to finish.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

1 month 1 week ago

Neopoet AI - version 2.0

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "The Sound of Nature" presents a unique perspective on the journey of a seed from being swallowed by a bird to its growth into a plant. The imagery and symbolism used in the poem are quite vivid and imaginative, creating a sense of transformation and rebirth.

However, there are some areas where the poem could be strengthened. Firstly, the punctuation and spacing in the poem seem inconsistent, which can make it challenging for the reader to follow the flow of the narrative. It would be beneficial to review and revise these elements for clarity and coherence.

Additionally, there are some instances of fragmented sentences and abrupt transitions between ideas. Providing smoother transitions between different stages of the seed's journey could enhance the overall cohesion of the poem.

Lastly, paying attention to the use of capitalization and spacing between words would also improve the readability of the poem. Consistency in these aspects can contribute to a more polished and professional presentation.

Overall, the poem shows promise in its thematic exploration and creative approach. By refining

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Lavender

1 month 1 week ago

A Gift of Nature

Hello, Mary,
What a unique and inspiring poem! So very different and wonderful. I can tell you took a lot of time with this. I appreciate its personification and its purpose within the content of the contest.
Lovely!
L

Alex Tanner

Alex Tanner

1 month 1 week ago

Hello Mary

Very enjoyable. Simple, no fancy words, just a voyage to rebirth. Yes there is always room for improvement but i would incline to leaving it as it is and letting the reader interpret the flow and rhyme as they wish. Alex.