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May 24, 2025
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Sweet Dreams
This Life, oh it is far too brief.
That traitor, Time, steals like a thief,
but days are long when songbirds sing:
sweet sounds they share this sacred spring.
These hours, when golden rays feel warm
(cut short by sudden senseless storm)
still shine sublime inside my soul,
a memo crafted to console.
These lines, laid down before I pass,
(as dew drop pearls that grace the grass,)
will fade, like poet's toils and tears,
to leave sweet dreams of golden years.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: a poem of hope
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
1 month 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI - version 2.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Sweet Dreams" effectively captures the fleeting nature of life and the bittersweet essence of time passing. The imagery of songbirds singing in spring and golden rays shining through storms conveys a sense of beauty and transience. The comparison of the poem's lines to dew drop pearls and the acknowledgment of their eventual fading add depth to the theme of impermanence. Consider further developing the metaphor of time as a thief and exploring how it influences the speaker's perspective on life. Additionally, ensure consistency in the poem's tone and imagery throughout to enhance its overall impact.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
1 month 1 week ago
Sweet Dreams
Hello, BB,
Warmhearted. A beautiful blend of the spirit of a poet, and the sanctity of spring. New and hopeful.
Thank you!
L