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May 13, 2011
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What's Up?...
Realization of the weaker set
is part of the anatomy
Strength; reserved, is the proper thing
No match, no equal, has been observed
Certainly not this puny mind
nor the weak frame, needing support
Bones of steel, and cool blood
make for a champion
With ease, and a certain aplomb
the opening of doors, and holding them
leaves the impression of courtesy
"Control, is more like it"
Train them for dependence
Give them what they want
Keep a secret of their needs
It's all part of the plan...
About This Poem
Last Few Words: It took me quite awhile to figure out a title without giving away the theme of the poem. I want people to think/give, their own ideas about what this poem is about. Was I too obvious? Too obscure? Got a better title?
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
14 years 2 months ago
I am...
a huge Sci-Fi fan, does that give you a clue? Hee hee ~ Gee
Kailashana2
14 years 2 months ago
My x & I (love at both sight
My x & I (love at both sight for both of us) had a whirlwind summer love affair, by September I left my friends and family and home to move in with him. I'd wonder what happened to the man I fell in love with, and he'd say women are so dumb..it's part of the *charm*.. (yeah like a snake!)..the *conquest*.
He was always charming but then that was his *good* side. lol.
~A
Geezer
14 years 2 months ago
My intent was...
to show the relationship between humankind, and robots. The masterplan of the robots, is to make themselves indispensible to us, doing everything for us... Clues: The weaker [set, not sex], and [Bones of steel, and cool blood]. I do see, however how it could be construed as being about the relationship between man and woman. Hee hee, ~ Gee
Geezer
14 years 2 months ago
I am...
glad you enjoyed it, no matter the perspective. Yes, I used to be the man of steel too! What the hell happened? My batteries are low too, guess they need a recharge. Thanks for the read, and the compliments, ~ As always, ~ Gee
Candlewitch
14 years 1 month ago
Dear Sir Gee,
I'm a dummy too! I thought it was about "love" between humans, too. I reread it to see it from the other point of view and that works for me too. This is different from many of your other style of writes and very enjoyable.
With ease, and a certain aplomb
the opening of doors, and holding them
leaves the impression of courtesy
"Control, is more like it"
love, Cat
Geezer
14 years 1 month ago
You are...
not a dummy! If you would notice, I did say that I didn't want to give away the true plot. It was meant to give the impression of either point of view. Maybe I should have given a couple of better clues, but I didn't want to influence the reader to either side. i'm glad that it caused the kind of discussion that it did. That was my intent. Love ya, ~ Gee
Xavier Sleuth
3 years 11 months ago
Idk, but-
It kinda sounds like . . .
Sexism?
Again, idk.
Not too good at figuring out meanings for myself.
Geezer
3 years 11 months ago
Yeah...
It was that and more. ~ Geez.
.