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May 14, 2011
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Nightly Meal
Holding on to the precipice
of my reality.
Darkness over shadowing
creating a monstrous
personality
Surveying all that is before me,
searching for that one kill
which will bring
the orgasmic satisfaction
There I see them,
traveling with their fear
of the sunless sky.
While I am home in its blackness
The quick pounding of their hearts
attracts me,
like the beat of a seductive drum
pulling me to where the blood will run.
One strays away
from the safety of the artificial lights,
then like a church mouse
I move to intercept my meal,
of this night
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Barbara Writes
14 years 2 months ago
Nice poem Eddie
I always enjoy reading your poetry though i tend to get you interpretations wrong lol. none the less i look forward to reading them.
xoxo
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 2 months ago
Barbara
Maybe it's not you, it's possible that some of my writing is not clear. I have the tendency of incorporating a lot of thoughts into one.
thank you I am glad you enjoy my attempt at poetry.
Eddie C.
judyanne
14 years 2 months ago
awesome eddie
i really liked this.... i was the predator....
two little things
i would lose the 'of' in the last line
and it needs to be either punctuated it or not - you have lazy half and half....lol
enjoyed
love judy
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 2 months ago
judy
Hahaha!
the lazy part is true.
thank you sweetie, I appreciate your comment.
thanks for the awesome!
Eddie C.
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 2 months ago
Lonnie
dead on my friend!
the plight of the dual personality.
thanks buddy
Eddie C.
Psyve
14 years 2 months ago
Eddie,
For me, this one has the feel of a " Chronicles of Riddick" sort of nightmare. When men must travel through the darkness with artificial lights to avoid being feasted upon by that monstrosity that waits beyond the edge of the lights.
Sort of Vampire meets Sci-Fi.
Very nice.
Very different from most of your other work, so this feels like a step in a new direction.
Good work.
Psyve
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 2 months ago
Psyve
I looked up " Chronicles of Riddick" at see it's a series of Sci-fi books.
Interesting take, I didn't think of it in the sci-fi catogory but do see it now.
thank you for your visit to my page!
I don't know if you remember when i first came to neopoet I only wrote dark poetry, I only changed my direction when I fell in love about a year and a half ago, so in reality it's a return to what I know, where I feel comfortable.
Eddie C.
Ayaz Warith
14 years 2 months ago
Dear Eddie, I read this poem
Dear Eddie, I read this poem 5 times and tried to know why I stuck at
"There I see them,
traveling with their fear
of the sunless sky.
While I am home in its blackness"
with deep contemplation....until I realised I loved this very much.
Regards
Ayaz
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 2 months ago
Ayaz
you have seen the heart of the poem, good for you!
thank you for the read and comment.
your friend,
Eddie C.
loved
14 years 2 months ago
your words
resound of one born
in the darkness of the night
in the year 1960 or maybe 1972
which may be so true
your words are entirely...
so exquisitey and lovely
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 2 months ago
loved
try 1954,, I am 57 today.
I grow up in the streets I was on my own at 15 years of age. the night is where i'm at home I go for walks at 2 and 3 in the morning. I love the quiet of the darkness and it's unintrucive quality.