miss you

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem evokes a contemplative mood through natural imagery and subtle shifts in perception. The opening lines effectively establish a sense of movement and transition with "Birds drift / Caught in the current of the sky," which introduces a fluid, almost ethereal atmosphere. The phrase "A sharp twill that catches meaning" is intriguing but somewhat opaque; clarifying or expanding this metaphor could enhance the reader’s connection to the image.

The poem’s strength lies in its sensory details—the "sun diffuses into a dusty impression" and "Branches take on new shape / Quivering with changing light" create vivid, mutable scenes that mirror emotional flux. However, some lines could benefit from tighter syntax or punctuation to improve flow and clarity, such as the transition between "Sea planes" and "A sharp twill that catches meaning," which currently feels abrupt.

The shift to "On the other side of the veil" introduces a more introspective tone, suggesting a boundary between present experience and memory. The metaphor of "sifting leaves" as a vessel for memory is effective, though the phrase "To whisper a memory" might be strengthened by more active or concrete language to deepen emotional impact.

The concluding line, "This feeling is important," serves as a poignant statement but reads somewhat flat compared to the rest of the poem’s evocative imagery. Consider integrating this sentiment more organically into the poem’s texture or illustrating it through metaphor rather than direct statement.

Overall, the poem offers a delicate exploration of memory and perception through natural imagery but could be enhanced by refining metaphor clarity, smoothing transitions, and deepening emotional resonance in the closing lines.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

that I notice; one is that there are a couple of words that don't seem spelled right: [Twill and sifting].

I may be mistaken, but I think that it should be Trill and shifting that said, I'm thinking that the meaning of the poem could be a little less murky. ~ Geezer.

.