still the Earth breathes

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem explores themes of resilience, nature’s enduring presence, and the interconnectedness between human experience and the earth’s rhythms. The imagery is evocative, and the tone carries a meditative, almost reverential quality.

Strengths: - The consistent use of natural imagery—ash-grey skies, waves, trees, gulls, bracken, and stone—creates a cohesive atmosphere that grounds the poem’s abstract ideas. - The poem’s structure, with its varied line lengths and stanza breaks, allows for a natural flow that mirrors the ebb and rise of tides and breath. - The use of personification (earth breathes, waves rise, silence hums) effectively animates the natural world, reinforcing its agency independent of human concerns. - The concluding lines emphasize unity and perseverance without resorting to cliché, providing a hopeful resolution.

Areas for consideration: 1. Clarity and specificity: Some phrases, such as “cobbled streets of sorrow” and “silence hums louder than hymns,” are evocative but somewhat abstract. Adding more concrete or sensory details might deepen emotional impact and help readers connect more viscerally. 2. Originality of metaphor: The image of “the gull that rides the tempest” is vivid but somewhat familiar. Exploring less conventional symbols or expanding on this metaphor could enhance uniqueness. 3. Pacing and tension: The poem’s meditative tone is consistent but may benefit from moments of sharper contrast or tension to heighten engagement. For example, emphasizing the struggle before the rise more distinctly could create a more dynamic emotional arc. 4. Line breaks and enjambment: While generally effective, some enjambments (e.g., “You will taste the salt of oceans past, / and still the waves will rise”) could be reconsidered to either strengthen the surprise or emphasize key words.

Overall, the poem succeeds in evoking a sense of enduring natural cycles and human resilience. Refining some images and varying the emotional pacing could further deepen its impact.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

even though we have choked and defiled her with all manner of chemicals and turned her into a defoliated garbage dump. and the air we breathe is polluted with emissions from our luxuries... I hope we have not passed the point of no return. I really like how you try to raise our consciousnesses with your poetry. thanks C.B.

hugs and tiny bits of stardust, Cat xxx  

Hello, CB,

Stunning language.  Beautiful.  "...between the bracken and stone..."  

And not unless we accept that we are one with the Earth, as your poem reads to me, yes, she will still breathe - sadly, long after she spits us out.   

Thank you for this gem!

Lx