today's battles

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem presents a vivid emotional landscape, using water and physical imagery to convey resilience amid hardship. The metaphor of unraveling “not like a ribbon but like rope— / wet, splitting at the seams” effectively contrasts fragility with strength, suggesting a complex form of breakdown that is both raw and enduring. The choice of “rope” instead of “ribbon” implies a tougher, more utilitarian material, which aligns well with the speaker’s persistence.

The depiction of the antagonist as someone who treats emotional harm “like it was a game” and “just physics” introduces a chilling detachment, emphasizing the speaker’s isolation and the calculated nature of the harm inflicted. The phrase “you the one always slipping off the hook” cleverly reverses the usual idiom, highlighting the antagonist’s evasion of responsibility.

The progression from personal unraveling to protective strength—“my arms stayed strong / cradling the small ones”—adds depth, showing the speaker’s role as a caretaker despite their own suffering. The tension between vulnerability and endurance is well maintained throughout.

One suggestion is to consider varying the line lengths or stanza breaks to enhance the pacing and emotional impact. For example, isolating certain powerful lines (such as “just hold breathe push”) could amplify their weight. Additionally, exploring more sensory details around the “small ones” might deepen the reader’s connection to what the speaker is protecting.

Overall, the poem’s tone is restrained yet intense, and the imagery supports a narrative of survival and sacrifice. Refining structural elements could further elevate the emotional resonance and clarity.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

that it has to do with taking the blame on the domestic front, accepting the blame for any disturbance, 

"letting the lies pile up in my name". 

"but my arms stayed strong
cradling the small ones
keeping their heads above the froth" is where you shoulder all the responsibilities for the "young ones".

Good story... ~ Geez.

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