the things we touch that change the sky

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem explores the intimate interplay between presence and environment with a compelling sensitivity. The central metaphor—that human interaction reshapes not only physical space but also the intangible atmosphere—provides a rich conceptual framework. The poem’s progression from the immediate, tactile details (breath, heat, touch) to cosmic imagery (aether, nebulae, constellations) effectively expands the scope, suggesting that personal connection resonates on a universal scale.

The use of personification is consistent and evocative: rooms "tighten," curtains "adjust," shadows "lose shape," and even grout "listens." These choices animate the setting, making the environment an active participant rather than a passive backdrop. The phrase "we’re hereing" is a creative linguistic invention that underscores the theme of co-creation and shared experience, though it may momentarily challenge the reader’s flow. Consider whether this neologism enhances clarity or risks distraction.

Imagery is vivid and tactile, especially in lines like "Your glance spills over / the rim of the table and the wood warps sweetly," which blend the physical and emotional seamlessly. The poem’s rhythm is mostly smooth, with varied line lengths that maintain interest, though occasional enjambment could be refined for stronger emphasis or pacing.

One area for potential development is the poem’s conclusion. The cosmic metaphor is powerful but somewhat abstract compared to the intimate specificity of earlier stanzas. Strengthening the connection between the personal and cosmic—perhaps by grounding the celestial imagery in more concrete sensory details or emotional nuance—could deepen the impact.

Overall, the poem succeeds in portraying how human presence transforms space and experience, moving from the microcosm of a room to the macrocosm of the universe. Attention to the balance between inventive language and reader accessibility, as well as the integration of metaphorical layers, would further enhance its resonance.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Wow...

those last two lines make a grand summation.  Love this...

*hugs, Cat

Now that is a man in love! I know the signs; I have been there myself. Whomever you are speaking of, 
is the luckiest woman alive. To warp the very table and make space sit up to notice, requires a powerful imagination.
Wish I had written this. ~ Geez.
.