Robin

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem offers a raw and intimate exploration of personal struggle, mental health, and complex family dynamics. The voice is candid and emotionally charged, which creates a strong connection with the reader. The narrative unfolds in a way that balances vulnerability with defiance, capturing the tension between self-identity and external perception.

Consider refining the poem’s structure for greater impact. The current free-verse form works well for the conversational tone, but varying line lengths and stanza breaks could enhance the pacing and emotional emphasis. For example, isolating key lines or phrases—such as “The blue lights came flashing / Because I'd done it all again”—might heighten their resonance.

The poem’s imagery is vivid but could benefit from more consistent metaphorical development. The references to “paint and plaster” and “a hurricane” are effective, but expanding on these or introducing additional sensory details could deepen the reader’s immersion. Additionally, some lines feel slightly prosaic, such as “Trying to let it all go / No more feelings left to show?”—consider rephrasing to maintain poetic tension and avoid predictability.

The emotional shifts between anger, shame, and gratitude are compelling but might be clarified through more deliberate transitions. This would help the reader navigate the complex feelings without confusion. For example, the shift from “A big mouth bipolar bitch is to blame” to “You keep me alive” could be bridged with a moment of reflection or acknowledgment that ties these sentiments together.

Finally, watch for minor inconsistencies in punctuation and capitalization, such as the ampersand in “& so many fears,” which disrupts the poem’s tone. Standardizing these elements will contribute to a polished presentation.

Overall, the poem’s strength lies in its honest voice and emotional depth. With attention to structure, imagery, and tonal transitions, it can achieve even greater clarity and impact.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Your poem Is a journey of trials and tribulations. It is a heartbreaking story... I know first hand about depression and mental illness. I hate that term...to me it is just another debilitating illness. (and does not carry a stigma.)

I do not know much about Bipolar. I hope you find the medication that is right for you. it took me many years, but I have.

Robin sounds like an understanding partner. I am glad  you have (his/her) influence and love. I am sure that Robin has many good reasons for loving you. So cut yourself some slack.

my favorite lines of this poem are:

I've lived in the light,
danced in the dark,
feeling everything in-between.
And that's just the start

hugs, Cat

p.s.

keep on writing. and posting. I am sure that other's are in a similar situation. do not be discouraged by the lack of responses. poets are having trouble getting used to the new site.