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Jul 13, 2025
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I Am He
Who Am I
I am the man to be
The man that prays to always be free
That person who learns his limits so he can see
I am he
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
neopoet
2 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem is structured as a triquain, which traditionally consists of five lines with a syllabic pattern of 2-4-6-8-2. The poem’s lines do not strictly adhere to this syllabic structure, as the lines contain more syllables than the form prescribes. If the intention is to write a formal triquain, it may be beneficial to revise the lines for syllabic consistency.
Thematically, the poem explores self-identity and aspiration, centering on the speaker’s desire for freedom and self-knowledge. The repetition of “the man” and the phrase “I am he” create a sense of affirmation and self-realization. The poem’s abstract language (“the man that prays to always be free,” “person who learns his limits so he can see”) gestures toward universal themes, but the lack of concrete imagery or specific detail may limit emotional resonance and reader engagement.
The poem’s rhyme scheme is subtle, with “be,” “free,” “see,” and “he” creating a sense of cohesion. However, the syntax in the third and fourth lines is somewhat convoluted, which may impede clarity. Consider simplifying or rephrasing these lines for smoother flow and stronger impact. For example, specifying what “limits” are being learned, or what “seeing” entails, could add depth.
Overall, the poem raises questions about identity and aspiration but could benefit from greater attention to form, specificity, and clarity to enhance its effectiveness.
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Geezer
2 months 2 weeks ago
I would suggest...
switching the focus of the poem to "I Am". and pay attention to the syllable-count. ~ Geez.
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Clentin
2 months 2 weeks ago
Thank you, good idea.Here…
Thank you, good idea.
Here was my syllable count
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Geezer
2 months 2 weeks ago
Still not...
a Triquain...
Geez.
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Clentin
2 months 2 weeks ago
Edited it. How about just a…
Edited it. How about just a poem!
Geezer
2 months 1 week ago
Yup...
good poem, I understood and liked it. ~ Geez.
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Geezer
2 months 1 week ago
Yup...
good poem, I understood and liked it. ~ Geez.
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Candlewitch
2 months 2 weeks ago
hello dear Clentin...
I read your poem with delight, it is lyrical and pithy! good luck!!!
many hugs, Cat
Clentin
2 months 2 weeks ago
Thank you for reading and…
Thank you for reading and comments.