CRANK Up the volume...

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem explores themes of self-protection, transformation, and the liberating power of writing. The narrative voice moves from a state of guardedness and internalization to one of expressive agency. The progression is clear: the speaker begins by describing learned behaviors of concealment—hiding terror, avoiding eye contact, and maintaining emotional opacity. The poem then shifts to the act of observing others and preparing for independence from external validation.

The formal structure relies on rhymed couplets, which provide a sense of cohesion and forward motion. However, the rhyme scheme sometimes leads to forced or awkward phrasing, such as "kept my own council as I prepared / to meet with no others approval," where "council" should be "counsel," and the syntax is somewhat strained for the sake of rhyme.

Imagery is strongest in the final stanzas, particularly with "shed the garment of silence for a fitting gown" and "a demon on parchment, secrets poured out." These metaphors effectively convey the catharsis and empowerment found in writing. The reference to "unseated the horseman" is evocative but somewhat ambiguous; it could benefit from clarification or a stronger contextual link to the poem’s emotional arc.

The poem's emotional trajectory is compelling, but the language occasionally lapses into abstraction ("rage of tender years," "wonders of speed") where more concrete imagery could deepen the impact. The poem would benefit from more specificity in describing the speaker's experiences and the sensations associated with both repression and release.

Overall, the poem successfully charts a journey from silence to expression, using the act of writing as a transformative force. Attention to precision in language and imagery, as well as careful management of rhyme to avoid forced constructions, would strengthen the piece.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

that this describes someone who has fought hard 
to regain a sense of who they really are, after falling prey
to abusers.

The A.I. is right to point out that sometimes, the rhyme seems forced,
but I think that with a little pruning and shoring up, this piece could really shine.

This what I might suggest:

made no contact or gave reply [to meet the previous line's syllable count]

Studied faces that were unaware
kept my own counsel as I prepared

picked up pencil and laid the words down. [you don't need the paper, it is inferred].
shed the cloak of silence, for a gown.

I'm sure that you can see how to meet the beat of the lines with just a few small changes of words.

With a couple of tweaks, this will shine. ~ Geez.
.

I recognize your journey from abused child to vengeful poet.  Somewhere in that journey, eddy styx was born from the rage that the child held in. The title of this one could easily be The Birth of eddy styx.