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Passenger Confessions - Saturday
Today the bus smells of lager, perfume and disappointment.
The Derby match looks promising. Fans climbs on board to cheers. They pile into the back, singing, swinging plastic bags of beer. The air stinks of camaraderie, stale sweat and hope.
When the big man arrives, the howls reach a crescendo. A child covers her ears and cries.
‘Keep it down lads, you’re upsetting the little one,’ an anxious dad whispers.
He’s ignored and they continue singing match songs. Forced banter carrying the scent of spent farts.
‘We’re gonna walk it, mate. Fucking walk it,’ a lad desperate to matter bellows.
When the Hen Party arrives, women are wearing lewd T-shirts, shorts and higher heels. They’re greeted with wolf whistles and jeers.
The bride-to-be curtseys, bows and points to her chest. The strap line reads, Here Cums the Bride.
‘I’m already spoken for so there’s no point even trying, fellas,’ she says, with a heady blast of flirtation.
The big man points to his knee as it’s the only available seat left and earns himself a round of applause from his mates. She throws her bare arms around his neck and slides onto his lap.
A man gets on the bus holding a takeaway coffee and wearing his whites. He’s six days into his working week. Tomorrow, he’ll get to spend time with his kids, after he’s travelled to the other side of the city. Kalvin stands in the aisle deliberately staring out of the front window. He’s witnessed aggression before. When you support the wrong team, are out of the in crowd or you’re not the same colour, he knows how to avoid trouble.
The hen party mixes with the football fans. Cans are opened, drinks are spilled and tears flow when one girl drops her phone and a lad holds it out of her reach. She can have it back when she gives him a kiss and adds him to her contacts. She refuses.
Her boyfriend monitors her phone. He’s probably following her now on the tracker he’s installed. Shelly wants to leave him but Jake won’t let that happen. Not until he’s doesn’t want her anymore.
The driver’s retiring at the end of the month. He’s never wanted anything more.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Jokerface82
1 month 3 weeks ago
Lol
I'm confused if it's a story great ! but it's not poetry. I see lots of mistakes, this could be good keep at it.
Ruby Lord
1 month 3 weeks ago
Thank you Jokerface, I'd be…
Thank you Jokerface, I'd be happy to hear where I'm going wrong? All comments add to my understanding. Ruby :)
Clentin
1 month 2 weeks ago
Interesting ! Illustrates…
Interesting ! Illustrates various views of passengers on a bus!
More of a story than a poem. I still liked it.
Ruby Lord
1 month 2 weeks ago
Thank you Clentin. I…
Thank you Clentin. I appreciate that. You’re right, it does lean into story. I think of it as a kind of prose-poem, or a way of catching people’s lives in passing without breaking the flow. Glad it held your interest. Ruby :)
Lavender
1 month 2 weeks ago
Saturday...
Ha! No Elsie! New story line...
Stereotypical characters here - we've all seen all of these people here and there throughout our lives. Nice detail. The thoughts from the driver reflect the mood of the entire scene.
This has been really creative, Ruby.
Sunday...
Thank you!
L