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No exit allows egress...

forever dooming how the missus and I relate
where interplay, foreplay and coldplay
insinuated themselves within mine pate,
once I espied and entered trap door to late,
thus now ensnared and inextricably
caught into the web of deceit
courtesy my own making
detritus of sundered scattered corpses
a stark prelude of unpleasant fate
awaits yours truly,
whereat once harmonious convergence
between the writer of these words
wrought havoc upon the wife
courtesy unfettered wanton lust
towards Alice in Chains,
where hook, line and sinker
no match for Jane's Addiction
a false nubile prophetess,
who promised me everlasting love
damning eternal conjugal bliss
that weathered category five emotional Hurricanes
ever since I tasted verboten fruit,
and suffered pierced airing of cleft marriage
courtesy nymphs young enough to be my daughter
unduly flattered,
where refutation towards doxological pleading
denied late connubial transgressions
doomed to be forever estranged
from kith and kin
both those related by blood
and those connected
by friendship and close acquaintances
sacrificed on the altar of pledged troth
half-life of mine after I became spellbound
when a four foot eleven contra dancer
surreptitiously snuck up
and surprised yours truly
with a smooch on the lips
years before banshee
freed from tempest in a teapot
only discernible to me
(a veritable hobgoblin in my head)
shrieking bloody murder
while poet of Perkiomen Valley
rode first class on the Orient Express
enroute to a place
in the outer limits
of the twilight zone named Willoughby,
where dark shadows creeping
along the edge of night
signalled storm of the century
slated to make landfall four after midnight
no escape for this running man
unable to Carrie on camping
cause he lavished being attentive
and gravitated towards
the alluring, beguiling, charming...
sexual innuendos hinting
of implicit indirectness
and double meanings
to convey a suggestive or risqué message,
where no doubt
(after I texted explicit premature ejaculations)
she unexpectedly got ghosted
triggering her to Rage against the machine,
where the ability to communicate
seething hormonal secretions
suddenly stifled when stark realization
and horror of his marriage
(that endured two score and nine years -
in the beginning fraught
with tumultuous verbal altercations -
nearly coming to fisticuffs
on at least one occasion)
figuratively being shattered
into a million little pieces
where all the King's horses
and all the King's men,
couldn't put (M. Scott Harris -
a stand in egg head)
for Humpty together again,
whose realization for desperation and reconciliation,
(which rupture defied repair
even with the expert assistance of Maggie Jaramillo
a recovery coach of mine courtesy Creative Health)
cause apology came too little to late,
and essentially triggered,
thus all around misery
spelling abomination, decimation,
and humiliation wrought
steely dancing imps of the pervert,
and where ruination descended upon
former kingdom of love and delight
analogous to an emotional quake
epicenter in the heart and soul
leveling corporeal entity and lovely bones.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: PA, USA

Favorite Poets: Robert Burns, Charles Dickens, Robert Frost, Matthew Scott Harris, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Sylvia Plath, Gary Snyder, Henry David Thoreau, Walt Whitman

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

1 month 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem presents a dense, intricate narrative of personal turmoil and relational breakdown, conveyed through a rich tapestry of allusions and metaphor. The language is elaborate and often complex, which can both engage and challenge the reader.

Strengths to consider: - The poem’s ambition in weaving emotional pain with cultural references (e.g., band names like Alice in Chains, Jane’s Addiction, Rage Against the Machine) creates a layered texture that reflects the speaker’s inner conflict. - The use of metaphor and imagery—such as “web of deceit,” “storm of the century,” and “steely dancing imps of the pervert”—effectively evokes the chaos and devastation of the speaker’s experience. - The narrative arc, from initial entrapment to irrevocable rupture, is clear and compelling despite the poem’s density.

Areas for further development: - The poem’s syntax and diction are often convoluted, which can obscure meaning and disrupt the flow. Simplifying certain lines or breaking them into shorter phrases could enhance clarity and impact. - The heavy use of references and allusions might alienate readers unfamiliar with them. Consider balancing specificity with more universal imagery or emotional cues to broaden accessibility. - The poem’s length and continuous form might benefit from more deliberate stanza breaks or varied pacing to give readers moments to pause and absorb the emotional weight. - Some lines feel overly prosaic or explanatory (e.g., “sexual innuendos hinting / of implicit indirectness / and double meanings / to convey a suggestive or risqué message”). Trusting the poem’s imagery and tone to convey these ideas without explicit definition could strengthen the poetic voice.

Overall, the poem’s raw emotional core and vivid imagery are compelling, but refining clarity and structure could deepen the reader’s engagement and enhance the poem’s resonance.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Lavender

1 month 2 weeks ago

No Exit...

I can't say I fully understand your style, but like Koki, I find your wordplay a treat.

Thank you,

L

Geezer

Geezer

1 month 1 week ago

Alright...

finally... some vindication! Delicious indeed! ~ Geez.

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