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Aug 19, 2025
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Unfaithfull
I saw the devil beneath the sheets
Yet so often offered her charms to cheats
Pretending to be a true married soul
Forgetting the vows to fulfill her role
Finally she found the payment due
A video that portrayed her in every view
The end of a marriage straight from hell
Allowed me to laugh from my new cell
The devil now lives beneath the burial plot
From the casket has earned what she had sought
From my placement in life’s eternal hell
I smile with each and every day in jail
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Lavender
1 month 1 week ago
Unfaithful
Whoa... very different for you, Clentin. A lot of sass! Dark and dangerous! I kinda like this style for you. Were you comfortable creating this one? Sometimes discomfort can produce profound poetry.
I'm curious about this!
Thank you!
L
Clentin
1 month 1 week ago
Thank you for reading and…
Thank you for reading and comments.
I have a very loving wife! I tried something dark after reviewing a strange story on Tv.
I also try to go outside of myself sometimes so I do not get too set in what i always do.
Lavender
1 month 1 week ago
Yes!
Enjoyed seeing you reach outside your norm!
L
Clentin
1 month 1 week ago
Thank you!
Thank you!
Edward nigma
1 month 1 week ago
Your poem
It has quite a good rhythm . And beneath this layer of an poetic nature there underlays a sharp shadow of pain . Sings to cynics heart and tells the story with the utmost subtlety which I admire.
Clentin
1 month 1 week ago
Thank you for reading and…
Thank you for reading and comments. I wanted to try something outside of what I usually write.
I wanted to try a dark poem after seeing a story on Tv
Geezer
1 month 1 week ago
I thought...
that you did very well for the first sojourn from a rather staid and regular place. I see that you have gotten the basic intent across without much trouble at all. Basic, and somehow horrible; not only in the fact that he has killed his wife, but the satisfaction that the writer has gotten for his revenge of the killing of his marriage. Keep on writing. ~ Geez.
.
Clentin
1 month 1 week ago
Thank you very much! I…
Thank you very much! I decided to try some different types and change a bit!