Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Prosaic poem of mine, who dislikes formalities, hence prose heeds with the following.
Yahoo!...As an AOL member since the beginning of time...,before tintinnabulation
I now find myself (a googling messenger) in a severe (near penniless) financial quandary, (and welcome the altruistic, capitalistic, fabulistic, juristic, opportunistic...benevolent, cash delivery ending fiduciary grinding poverty), cuz yours truly happened to be strapped for cash (after being stripped of every red cent), and thus seeks ways and means to trim unnecessary (or superfluous) expenses, which would include discontinuing coveted magazine subscriptions to Mother Jones, The Nation, TIME, and Smithsonian, which progressive publications serve as the mother and father lode of events within the webbed, wide world brimming with burning man shuns as talking heads pontificated about how to trumpet big beautiful billeted Babes in Toyland, and meanwhile don the trappings of a supertramp courtesy a cheap trick doubling up as a Beatle browed beastie boy, and thus hired as a Renaissance man wearing bangles drawing attention among the village people with little feet.
Cypher punks tricked out as voracious pulchritudinous money managers named Davis Chuchpiller, Donald Coons, Linda Creque, Julie Leach, Miriam Smith, Philip Stevens, and Kathleen Witmer to enumerate just a figurative handful (which aforementioned first and surnames listed most likely pseudonyms for stealthy rapscallions to me, an amateur stalwart sleuth) feigning ignorance when linkedin with his trusty bloodhound immediately detects scents (and sensibilities without pride nor prejudice) sniffs out a susceptible and innocent cyber surfer (pulled into the virtual undertow and rip tides) then subsequently easily lured into phishing schemes and masterfully baited courtesy untolled (bell weather essentially as mean wealth usurpers) employing nefarious enticements such as asking the recipient to divulge her/his social security number, passwords, mother's maiden name, et cetera.
Years ago (about twenty six months ago to be more precise) yours truly got suckered into a money loosing scheme (courtesy Harvey Specter who made no pretense to vacuum up many Benjamins I withdrew from Citizens Bank (Trappe, Pennsylvania location) after deluding me with a doozy that fake colleagues of perpetrator linkedin among management claiming collaboration and collusion prevailed convincing (poor Matthew Scott Harris) that rampant rogues gallery proliferated at above mentioned banking institution, which he, (the spectre incarnate of dirty deeds done dirt cheap) attested criminal activity ran amuck and my anointed artifice best in show trained uber valued wiseacre (among jump/kick starting rash of X men) yielded best bang for the buck hit man.
Ofttimes told before (in previously posted bulletins of mine) as a Norwegian bachelor farmer from Lake Woebegone, Minnesota my kismet (way before conception between sperm and ova conducted contra aey fusion) already color coded for sixth sense, in tandem with extra sensory perception allowed, enabled and provided the write of these words a natural born (free and clear) killing instinct never employed to maim nor disable life or limb of another (even a bonafide, execrable, horrible and kickass miscreant), but much preferred win/win as conflict resolution taught to me courtesy the late Jean Dole (who passed away and wrote as an obituary the passing of one who affected (and I might add infected) and permanently inoculated me mind/ with the active listening germ helped me (to ask myself) how I can resolve when in this, that or the other bind/ by summoning a win-win approach, whereby e'en the angels on high did offer a grudging wink and helped the planets to align, just by some cosmic fluke (approximately two score and six years ago when she spoke at the Thomas Paine Unitarian Fellowship located in Collegeville, Pennsylvania), I managed to affect an impression if she bethought me a kook/ upon that first encounter -- at her home/ but perhaps being christened Matthew and not Mark, John nor Luke/ she took a liking to me/ and contributed to self actualization -- mainly thru venting via her so called self styled quasi-primal scream therapy, which helped this long time client helped him to some extent his inner travails to nuke! I will miss you dear Jean/ for being so tolerant and keen/ and ranking as some therapeutic queen posted within the storied within the Philadelphia Inquirer/Philadelphia Daily News May 23, 2007.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: please pardon my poetic license, cuz i wanted to post the above rumination.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
1 month ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem presents a sprawling, stream-of-consciousness narrative that blends personal history, cultural references, and social commentary. The ambitious scope and dense allusions create a complex texture, but this complexity also challenges the reader’s engagement and comprehension.
Strengths: - The poem’s voice is distinctive, conversational, and candid, which lends an immediacy and authenticity to the speaker’s perspective. - The integration of specific names, places, and institutions grounds the poem in a recognizable reality, adding layers of meaning and potential resonance. - The thematic concerns—financial hardship, digital vulnerability, trust and deception, personal growth—are timely and relatable.
Areas for development: 1. **Structure and Pacing:** The poem’s length and lack of clear breaks or stanza divisions make it difficult to navigate. Introducing stanzas or line breaks to separate ideas or thematic shifts would help the reader digest the content and appreciate the nuances.
2. **Clarity and Focus:** The poem frequently shifts between topics and images in rapid succession, sometimes within a single sentence. This can obscure the central message. Consider focusing on fewer themes per section or clarifying transitions to maintain coherence.
3. **Syntax and Punctuation:** The heavy use of parentheses and long, winding sentences can disrupt the flow. Simplifying sentence structures or using punctuation to guide the reader’s rhythm would enhance readability.
4. **Imagery and Metaphor:** While the poem includes vivid references (e.g., “burning man shuns,” “Beatle browed beastie boy,” “primal scream therapy”), some metaphors feel overloaded or obscure. Refining these images for clarity and impact would strengthen the poem’s emotional resonance.
5. **Tone Consistency:** The poem oscillates between humor, lament, and philosophical reflection. While this variety can be effective, ensuring that tonal shifts feel intentional and balanced will improve the overall unity.
6. **Title and Introduction:** The title’s self-referential and somewhat playful tone sets expectations for an informal, prose-like poem, which aligns with the content. However, the poem’s density contrasts with this informality. Aligning the style more closely with the title’s promise (perhaps by embracing a looser, more fragmented prose-poem form) could enhance coherence.
In summary, the poem’s richness and ambition are evident, but greater attention to structure, clarity, and pacing would allow its insights and voice to shine more clearly. Experimenting with form and editing for focus could help harness the poem’s energy into a more accessible and impactful piece.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact