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Aug 31, 2025
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Loving for the sake of everyone but yourself, an altruistic act
“I love that I get to love someone like you, regardless of whether or not that love is returned or felt to the same extent, the very ability that I have to love you as I do is enough to get me up on bad days, and it’s nearly enough for me to thank a god I don’t believe in”
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
4 weeks ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem explores a complex emotional landscape, focusing on the selfless nature of love that persists even without reciprocity. The central idea—that loving someone can be sustaining in itself—is compelling and resonates with themes of altruism and existential reflection.
One strength lies in the candid, conversational tone, which creates intimacy and immediacy. However, the poem is presented as a single, extended sentence, which can make it challenging to parse and diminish its emotional impact. Breaking the text into multiple lines or stanzas would allow key phrases to stand out and give the reader space to absorb the sentiment.
Consider refining the syntax to enhance rhythm and flow. For example, the phrase “regardless of whether or not that love is returned or felt to the same extent” is somewhat cumbersome. Streamlining it could strengthen clarity and emotional punch.
The line “it’s nearly enough for me to thank a god I don’t believe in” introduces a poignant tension between faith and doubt, which could be further developed or emphasized through imagery or metaphor. This contrast is a powerful element that might benefit from more exploration or a more vivid presentation.
Overall, the poem’s theme is rich and thought-provoking, but its impact would be heightened by structural revision and more deliberate use of poetic devices such as line breaks, imagery, and rhythm.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact