I Used To

The restless waves
leave things on the strand,
and take them too.

I remember all you took with you.
It washed over me, and I felt the air
searching for my breath.

I used to think of you as the foaming surf
crashing on the shore, and all I imagined
we’d find there in the sand.

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

Region, Country: San Francisco Bay Area - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Bukowski, Billy Collins, Ted Kooser, Haiku & Harvey Kurtzman (a visual poet, of sorts)

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

3 weeks 5 days ago

Enjoyed the read and the thoughts it evoked. Perhaps "washed up on the sand" as a final line?

3 weeks 3 days ago

I like your suggestion, Ray - thanks for the visit!