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This poem is part of the contest:

09/25 One Pure Emotion

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On Her Wedding Day

The emotions mix on this special day,
I don’t know clearly what to say.
Should I laugh or cry, feeling grey,
So overwhelmed, my feelings sway.

Should I be happy on her wedding day,
When part of me wants her to stay,
For morning talks and noon’s warm ray
So overwhelmed, my feelings stray.

It’s her wedding, she’ll fly away,
So all I’ll do is softly pray:
May love and light forever stay,
And guide her gently on her way.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

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1 week 2 days ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem explores the complex emotions of witnessing a loved one’s wedding, focusing on the tension between joy for the bride and a sense of personal loss. The poem’s structure is consistent, with quatrains and a recurring rhyme scheme (AABA or similar), which helps to reinforce the cyclical nature of the speaker’s feelings.

The repetition of “So overwhelmed, my feelings sway/stray” in the first two stanzas creates a refrain-like effect, emphasizing the speaker’s emotional turbulence. However, the repetition could be refined for greater impact; the slight change from “sway” to “stray” is subtle but may not provide enough contrast to justify the repetition. Consider whether the refrain could evolve more significantly to reflect the progression of the speaker’s emotions.

The language is direct and accessible, which suits the intimate subject matter. However, some lines rely on familiar expressions (“special day,” “fly away,” “love and light”), which may limit the poem’s originality. Introducing more specific imagery or unique metaphors could deepen the emotional resonance and distinguish the poem from more generic wedding-themed verse.

The final stanza shifts from the speaker’s internal conflict to a gesture of blessing, which provides closure and a sense of acceptance. This transition is effective, but the poem could benefit from more concrete details about the relationship or the setting to ground the emotions in lived experience. For example, expanding on “morning talks and noon’s warm ray” with a specific memory or sensory detail would add depth.

Overall, the poem communicates its emotional conflict clearly, but could be strengthened by more original language, greater specificity, and a more dynamic use of repetition.

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