Implosion (eddy styx)

Implosion

mallet strikes
bone splitting blow
unseeing eyes
reflect
explosions
of pain
vision erupts
in starburst patterns
and shards
of splattered brain
this headache;
MIGRAINE!

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Yes! I do want the "raw truth". This is for the "Book of StyxII" I appreciate all helpful input. Thanks in advance! eddy styx is my male alter ego.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

magics02

14 years 2 months ago

I hear you

Cat I have the same thing. An implosion of the brain when the headache beginds. I like Eddys capture of this image he gives me today.

How about unseething eyes

of splattered brains (maybe)

I don't know if I am on spot or not. I will come back let me know

Missed talking with you friend
Love Mona

Candlewitch

14 years 2 months ago

Dear Mona,

I don't have them often, but when I do, they really lay me down low! Thanks for reading, dear Lady. Always a pleasure to have you on my page. I hope you are well.

always, eddy (& Cat)

mand

14 years 2 months ago

Hi Cat

This is an amazingly vivid description of a migraine. I haven't had a migraine before, definatley wouldn't want one after reading your description.

Excellent work!

Love Mand xxxxxx

Candlewitch

14 years 2 months ago

Dear Mand,

I despise them. They really wipe me out. A day with a migraine is a wasted one! I can't do anything but lay down in a dark room.and wish it to go away.

always, eddy (& Cat)

ziggy

14 years 2 months ago

hi cat

I really like how you describe the migraine with your title and these lines
"mallet strikes
bone splitting blow"
and this "vision erupts
in starburst patterns
and shards
of splattered brain",,,,hope your not suffering them luv ,zigs