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Dec 13, 2025
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Procreation essentially endows the species of Homo sapiens immortality...,
whereby past and future
linkedin together courtesy the present,
(within which average
expectancy of lifetime
measured at approximately
three and a half score plus years),
wherein a natural predilection and hunger
to jam pack those seventy so orbitz
around the sun find restless humans
constantly globe trotting
to and fro, hither and yon
across the oblate spheroid,
but unlike that general penchant
to appease travel bug,
yours truly (namely me)
hankers and hungers
to acquire knowledge,
and would forego
placating the basic needs and wants
according to Abraham Maslow
(a highly influential American psychologist
and a founder of humanistic psychology,
famous for his
"Hierarchy of Needs" theory,
which posits that humans are motivated
to fulfill basic needs (like food, safety)
before progressing to higher-level needs,
culminating in self-actualization
(reaching one's full potential).
He focused on human
potential and positive growth
rather than just mental illness,
introducing concepts
like "self-actualizing" people
and shifting psychology's focus
towards well-being and fulfillment.
Even if seesawing, and
teetering on the uber brink
upon a figurative tightrope
imagine dragons
spewing fire from below
as Flying Wallendas
(a famous, multi-generational family
of German-American circus acrobats,
renowned for their daring high-wire acts,
particularly the seven-person chair pyramid
performed without a net, and a legacy
marked by both incredible fame
and tragic accidents)
or being pitched upon turbulence
approximately at the height
commercial planes typically fly
at cruising altitudes
between 30,000 and 40,000 feet,
whereby impossible mission
to prevent spillage while toasting a drink
"chanting (L'chaim" (לחיים),
a Hebrew toast meaning "to life)"
well on the way
to a honeymoon in Shangri-la,
but getting hijacked to Jurassic Park
where so called terrible lizards
never received the word
they ought to be extinct,
(which finds the incredible hulk
or superman intervening
appearing as Nick (Al Hodian)
against the terrorists
hungering for fame)
in comparison to staged frequent fliers
actually stuntmen and stuntwomen
donned as trumpeting
crash test dummies
unwittingly yet voluntarily
entombed as feigned raiders
of the lost (airborne) ark
make quick work
of another convincing thespian,
who turns out to be nothing more than
another aforementioned plane Jane/
John Doe actor and/or actress
playing the role of harmless rat fink
whose bravado even dares her/himself
to play a gremlin like creature
cue cameo appearance
of foo fighting beastie boy
(characterized within that famous
Twilight Zone episode
called "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet,"
(who unbeknownst to the viewers)
in actuality happens to be
the missing Darwinian link
eventually pilots executed safe landing
sliding down into the behavioral sink"
and now let me know what you think
about this feeble attempt to depict hunger
in countless ramifications,
manifestations and combinations
while this wordsmith
yearns for shut eye
also referred to of
at least forty winks.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
4 months 1 week ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem ambitiously weaves together a broad range of themes—human mortality, the quest for knowledge, psychological theory, travel, and popular culture references—into a sprawling meditation on existence and desire. The title’s assertion about procreation and immortality sets a grand conceptual frame, but the poem’s meandering structure and dense allusions sometimes obscure its core message.
The poem’s strength lies in its vivid, often playful imagery and its willingness to incorporate diverse references, from Maslow’s hierarchy to the Flying Wallendas, Jurassic Park, and The Twilight Zone. These elements create a collage effect that reflects the restless human hunger the poem describes. However, the abundance of parenthetical asides and explanatory notes can disrupt the flow, making it challenging for readers to maintain narrative momentum or emotional engagement.
The language oscillates between conversational and academic, which can be intriguing but occasionally feels uneven. For example, the detailed explanation of Maslow’s theory, while informative, interrupts the poem’s rhythm and might be more effective if integrated more subtly or condensed. Similarly, the extended metaphor of the tightrope act and turbulent flight is evocative but could benefit from tighter focus to heighten tension and clarity.
The poem’s concluding lines, where the speaker acknowledges their own hunger for sleep, bring a self-reflexive touch that grounds the sprawling reflections in a relatable human experience. This moment of vulnerability contrasts nicely with the earlier grandiosity and could be expanded to deepen the poem’s emotional resonance.
To enhance the poem’s impact, consider streamlining some of the explanatory passages and paring down the number of references to allow key images and ideas to breathe. Clarifying the connections between the various metaphors and allusions will help readers grasp the poem’s thematic throughline more readily. Additionally, experimenting with varied line breaks and stanza divisions might improve pacing and highlight shifts in tone or focus.
Overall, the poem’s intellectual ambition and rich imagery are commendable, but refining its structural coherence and rhythmic flow will strengthen its ability to communicate the complex hunger it seeks to portray.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact