Royal Asia

Jan 11, 2026 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the workshop:

A NEW FORM ( let's begin)

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Description:A shop exploring a new form of poetry which can encompass almost any form. It's called "Morphing" and an example will be shown below. We will first discuss the form then will each write their own poem using the form and then comment on one another's poems. There are very few "wrong" ways to write using this form and whatever form you prefer will be able to be used within your poem. This is going to be a fun and participant driven shop of short duration so don't be afraid to join in

Leader: Stan Holliday
Moderator(s):

Objectives: Learn about and use a new poetry form which also will require the use of at least 2 established forms. A secondary function will be to get writers to venture out of comfort zone of their preferred form without having to write an entire poem in an unfamiliar form.

Level of expertise: Open to all

Subject matter: Learn a completely new form of poetry while also stretching out of our comfort zones. This new form is one in which a poem begins in one form and then changes form as the subject matter changes.
Example : "Widow's Retreat"

At sixty years
the telephone
bringing the news late at night

An accident
on his way home.
mad dash to the hospital
...too late.....

The daze
of death cetificates
coffin choices
hushed sad voices
busy work
then finally

alone

For almost all her life
she's been a part of someone else
a teenage girlfriend
mother
wife......

Now the kids are grown and gone
as expected, as should be
but facing even one more day
of cold nights for eternity?

She maintains her brave fascade
rehearsed words and false cheer
while secretly she cursed God
for putting her through such a trial

So inwardly her spirit drifts
to a place which she calls Avalon
where lovers never endure rifts.
A place of warm eternal dawns.

Where everyone stays seventeen,
where tears of loss are never shed,
where the leaves are always green
as on the day when they were wed

You'll often see her sitting there
as she travels in her rocking chair
eyes closed, a small smile on her face
to Avalon, her favorite place...

This workshop is closed.

This poem is part of the contest:

01/26 New Member Contest

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Unhand Thee

Don’t hold me
But I want you close
Don’t look at me
Just gaze at my approach
Don’t wait for me
Look for me
Unhand me
Grab me
You see it’s hard for me to trust
It’s not you it’s me
Please don’t give up on me
Give in to me
I want to breathe
But it’s uncomfortable for me
Bare with me not against me
Love me
But don’t fall to deep
I know it’s hard to understand what I ask thee
It’s only hard because you fail to innerstand me

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Comes from deep with thoughts of indecisive imperfect decisions

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

neopoet

3 months 1 week ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem explores the complexities and contradictions of intimacy and vulnerability, employing a series of imperatives that oscillate between desire for closeness and the need for distance. The repetition of opposing commands (“Don’t hold me / But I want you close,” “Unhand me / Grab me”) effectively conveys the speaker’s ambivalence and internal conflict. This structure mirrors the emotional push and pull experienced in relationships marked by trust issues.

The use of archaic language (“thee”) in the title and closing lines contrasts with the otherwise contemporary diction, which may be intended to elevate the tone or universalize the experience. However, this shift is not fully integrated and risks feeling inconsistent unless further developed or justified within the poem.

The phrase “bare with me not against me” appears to be a malapropism; “bear with me” is the conventional phrase, unless the use of “bare” is intentional to evoke vulnerability. If intentional, clarification or additional context could strengthen the impact. The closing lines introduce the term “innerstand,” a neologism that may be intended to suggest a deeper, internalized form of understanding. While inventive, its meaning may not be immediately clear to all readers and could benefit from contextual support earlier in the poem.

The poem’s strength lies in its honest portrayal of ambivalence and its rhythmic, almost breathless pacing, which reflects the speaker’s emotional state. To further develop the poem, consider refining the language for consistency, clarifying intentional word choices, and expanding on the emotional stakes to deepen the reader’s engagement with the speaker’s dilemma.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

John Leslie O'Kelley

3 months 1 week ago

Unhand Thee

There seems to be a contradiction here, but I enjoyed the poem you wrote. We all need acceptance and gratification from the one from the ones that we love! My favorite line was "it's only hard because you fail to innerstand me. Great writing and keep writing! John Leslie O'Kelley

Royal Asia

3 months 1 week ago

Thank you so much I'm very…

Thank you so much I'm very appreciative of your feed back! And I will keep writing only to be better than I am now!

Lavender

3 months 1 week ago

Unhand Thee

Hello, Royal Asia,

Wonderful "Last Few Words," indesisive, imperfect. Described the theme of the poem really well.

So, so curious about your title: is the narrator directing the title to themselves? Then within the poem, the line is "unhand me." I find that intriguing!

Thank you!

Royal Asia

3 months 1 week ago

Thank you for noticing and…

Thank you for noticing and yes you are correct "thee" is me the writer. I didn't want to have a dead give away title I wanted my readers to figure out who I am referring to. There is also a plot twist for those who can relate I am describing them and also me.

Candlewitch

3 months 1 week ago

Hello Poet...

I find this piece of work to be interesting and intriguing! I enjoy your writings and look forward to reading more from your pen! Thank you.

Always, Cat