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Jan 30, 2026
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By the way by the way
By the way
By the way
It was my father
Who gave me my life
And also made me
Who I am
Also I am happy
Being myself
I don't want to be
Anybody else
But me
I want also to live
Every day
For my God
Open my eyes God
So I can see you
God open my ears
So I can hear
The message that you are
Sending me
My God I will follow you
Rules
And I promise you not to
Sin
God I know that you
Died
On the cross for my sins
God I know you hold the future
Because you live
About This Poem
Last Few Words: That is a new poem Written by Aldo kraas
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
2 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem presents a straightforward and sincere meditation on identity, gratitude, and faith. The repetition of “By the way” at the beginning establishes a conversational tone, but this phrase is not developed further in the body of the poem, which may leave readers questioning its purpose or function as a refrain. Consider whether this repetition is intended to frame the poem or if it could be integrated more meaningfully throughout.
The poem moves quickly from the speaker’s relationship with their father to expressions of religious faith. This transition is abrupt; exploring the connection between these two themes could add depth. For example, if the father’s influence is foundational to the speaker’s faith, clarifying that relationship would strengthen the poem’s coherence.
The language is direct and unadorned, which can be effective for conveying sincerity, but it also risks becoming prosaic. To heighten the poetic quality, consider incorporating more imagery or figurative language. For instance, rather than stating “Open my eyes God / So I can see you,” the poem could evoke what seeing God might feel or look like.
The poem’s structure is free verse with short lines, which creates a sense of breath and contemplation. However, the line breaks sometimes feel arbitrary, particularly in lines like “Rules / And I promise you not to / Sin.” Revisiting lineation to emphasize rhythm or meaning could enhance the reading experience.
The poem concludes by referencing Christian doctrine (“you died / On the cross for my sins”) and ends on a note of hope (“Because you live”). These are familiar expressions in religious poetry; finding a more personal or unique way to articulate these beliefs could help the poem stand out.
Overall, the poem’s strength lies in its earnestness. Developing the imagery, clarifying thematic transitions, and refining line breaks would deepen its impact.
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