Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Indigenous...
Mother Earth wakes him slowly
She whispers in his ear
No matter that he's lowly
She hugs him, calls him dear
She knows how much he loves her
His heart is with her all the time
She is his life, she's really sure,
They are intertwined
Sparrows chirp good morning, Sir,
As he passes by
He smooths his brother's fur
The sun shines from the sky
Cool waters wash his face,
He slakes his morning thirst
Now it becomes a race,
Who's going to be first,
To lick the morning dew,
Feel the launching of the wind,
For of us, there are few,
We know where it begins
To feel the earth beneath our feet,
Muddy toes and dirty hands
There's nothing that can beat,
Our emotions toward the land
Now, I might be an urbanite,
But inside I'm countryfied
I love the sun and blackest night,
As each hold the countryside
So often when I'm feeling hurt,
I go outside and look around,
I bend over, touch the dirt,
And forget I'm stuck in town
Mother Earth, please keep giving me
Strength to carry through my sorrow
I hope that you will somehow see,
I'm ready for tomorrow
About This Poem
Last Few Words: A little something I think might have been lost in the "Great Crash". Found and revived.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
2 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem explores the speaker's connection to nature, specifically through the personification of "Mother Earth" and the motif of returning to the land for comfort and strength. The structure is consistent, with quatrains and an ABAB rhyme scheme, which lends a musicality and accessibility to the piece.
Thematically, the poem juxtaposes the speaker's urban existence with a deep-rooted affinity for the countryside and natural world. This tension is articulated most clearly in the stanza beginning "Now, I might be an urbanite," which serves as a turning point, acknowledging the speaker's current environment while affirming an internalized sense of belonging to the land. The poem's closing stanzas shift into a more direct, almost prayer-like address to Mother Earth, reinforcing the emotional reliance on nature for solace and resilience.
Imagery is strongest in moments such as "mornings dew," "muddy toes and dirty hands," and "cool waters wash his face," which evoke tactile and sensory experiences. These details help ground the poem in physical reality, making the speaker's connection to the earth more immediate.
However, the poem's diction and imagery at times remain general or rely on familiar tropes ("Mother Earth," "the sun shines from the sky," "strength to carry through my sorrow"), which can limit the poem's originality and impact. The use of "he" in the early stanzas is ambiguous, and it is not immediately clear whether this refers to the speaker or a different figure, which may cause confusion for readers.
The poem would benefit from more specific, concrete imagery and a deeper exploration of the speaker's personal relationship to the land. Additionally, clarifying pronoun references and considering the implications of the title "Indigenous"—a term with significant cultural and political resonance—would strengthen the poem's thematic focus and sensitivity.
Overall, the poem effectively communicates a longing for connection to nature and the restorative power of the land, but it could be enhanced by greater specificity, clarity, and attention to the nuances of its central themes.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact
Mark
2 months 2 weeks ago
Nice Title!
Great poetry!
Mark
Geezer
2 months 2 weeks ago
Thanks, Mark...
I'm glad you like it, the title was a gift. ~ Geez.
.
Lavender
2 months 2 weeks ago
Indigenous
Hello, Geezer,
I agree, wonderful title. Especially if we value just how we are of, and from, this Earth. I'm glad you discovered this and revived it! It's beautiful.
Thank you!
L
Geezer
2 months 2 weeks ago
I was...
searching for a paintbrush for another project, [I have lots of little projects going on at the same time]. Since we have moved, I still have some things like art supplies in boxes and scattered through junk drawers, [yeah, multiple junk drawers], and as I was looking through some boxes tucked away in a closet, I came across some hard copies of this poem. I couldn't remember the age of the poem, nor did it have a title, so I tried looking it up under the search mode, and not seeing it anywhere decided to resurrect it. I am pleased that you enjoyed it. Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comments. ~ Geez.
P.S. the title was a gift from Mark, he was the one that suggested it.
.
Since
Wallyroo92
2 months 1 week ago
Indigenous...
Like you said, I think many of us who are urbanites long for a little more countryside. I moved from a big city to smaller town two hours away and it's a big difference. As far as the theme of Mother Earth, I often fear that we (as a human race) have so much damage one day she may lash out, but that in the meantime I enjoy the gifts we get from her.
Awesome work.
Geezer
2 months 1 week ago
Thank you...
for making my day. I'm afraid that all these accolades will make my head so big, that I will have to buy a new hat! Yes, I am a small city/town boy that loves Mother Nature and all that she gives us. I have visited many big cities and never stayed long because I miss the feel of grass beneath my feet, the ability to hear the birds in the morning, [instead of traffic] see the sky without big buildings closing it in and hear the silence of the night. ~ Geez.
.