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Feb 24, 2026
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In the silence cold, snow, no home
I wake up each morning no place to go,
Hope for a better life who knows.
It’s cold each day most of the night,
Searching for food daily, an uphill fight.
Clothes on my back are ripped, torn,
Walking each day, shoes now worn.
Between the seasons I'm losing sight,
Winter is here, no shelter tonight.
Losing my home my job as well,
Always searching for a place to dwell.
Looking for shelter l am here alone,
Today who knows l will find a home.
On the streets every day and night,
No room or a bed, senseless fight.
Young and old, each a story to tell,
Reasons, meaning here they dwell.
No room at night to lay my head,
Looking for a cot, a simple bed.
Cardboard, a blanket, a grate for heat,
Hoping for a rest, a shelter l need.
Sitting alone a cup for spare change,
Hoping for a break food to arrange.
Hours sitting as hunger weighs,
Few coins, a bill eating today.
The snow falls wind blows cold,
Rain soaks through no one knows.
Fight for freedom a place to stay,
Shelter a home, suffering every day.
Standing in line a hot meal to savour,
Hot cup of coffee warming favour.
Many are here the line never ends,
What is next for us emotions?
A way of life a means to change,
Looking for aid coping with pain.
Voices in my head dealing in the past,
A sanctuary, a way, my ability to grasp.
Walking the streets, all types of weather,
Searching for hope, an insignificant pleasure.
Change in my pocket the decision remains,
Eating today or buy clothes to change.
Finding a roof a need or a space,
Being turned away losing face.
Shaking and shivering little rest,
Maybe tomorrow passing is best.
A room one night my belongings here,
Warmth and a shower lost in fear.
Unsure if it’s right reeling in pain,
Belongings l owns the morning will remain.
A church for warmth prayer for life,
A warm embrace or guiding light.
A smiling face worship and need,
A simple life, no evil or greed.
Days and nights far from home,
Life insecurity l am not alone.
Looking for a break a simple truth,
Tossed to the curb endless pursuit.
Finding a place more permanent perhaps,
How long it takes, too long ‘Ill pass.
Waiting for the day, still here alone,
In the silence cold, snow, no home.
Will l wake in the morning, perhaps,
Maybe tonight will be my last.
Finding warmth my soul will rise,
Meeting my God before these eyes.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
neopoet
1 month 4 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem addresses homelessness and hardship through a series of direct, first-person observations. The structure is consistent, with quatrains throughout, and the language is plain and unadorned, which lends an immediacy to the speaker’s voice. The poem’s repetition of certain images—cold, snow, searching for shelter, worn clothes—emphasizes the ongoing nature of the struggle and creates a cumulative effect that mirrors the relentless cycle described.
There is a clear narrative progression, moving from daily survival to moments of hope (such as the possibility of a meal or a warm place to sleep) and back to despair. The poem also touches on broader themes, such as social invisibility (“no one knows”), the loss of dignity (“losing face”), and the search for meaning or spiritual solace (“Meeting my God before these eyes”).
Some areas could benefit from revision to strengthen the poem’s impact:
- The language often falls into cliché or generalization (“an uphill fight,” “a story to tell,” “a simple truth”), which can dilute the emotional force. More specific, concrete imagery would help individualize the speaker’s experience and make the poem more vivid. - The rhyme scheme is inconsistent, sometimes present and sometimes absent, which can be distracting. Deciding whether to use rhyme throughout or to abandon it for free verse could help unify the poem’s voice. - The meter is irregular, and some lines are awkwardly phrased (“Belongings l owns the morning will remain,” “What is next for us emotions?”). Revising for clarity and rhythm would improve readability and flow. - The poem occasionally shifts between first-person singular and plural, and between individual and collective experience. Clarifying the speaker’s perspective—whether representing a single voice or a chorus—would strengthen the poem’s coherence. - The poem’s emotional arc is fairly linear, with little variation in tone or pacing. Introducing moments of contrast—such as brief flashes of humor, anger, or unexpected beauty—could add depth and complexity.
Overall, the poem’s subject matter is important and timely, and the directness of the speaker’s voice is effective. Further revision focusing on specificity, clarity, and formal consistency would help the poem achieve greater emotional resonance.
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Geezer
1 month 4 weeks ago
I read this...
as a rap. The meter just stuck it out there to be picked up. I think that the shorter the lines, the better.
You have some good basic lines, but need to keep the meter.
Finding a place, permanent perhaps.
don't want to know, how long will pass
Waiting for the day, still here alone,
in the cold and silence, no home
Try juggling your words around to lengthen or shorten the meter.
There are times when you can sneak an extra short syllable in and the reader doesn't even notice; then there will be times when you can do away with a syllable by shortening a word or using another word to infer the same idea. ~ Geezer.
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