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Feb 25, 2026
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How original idea Larks and Robins...
implemented in the Contra Dance
became a fiasco
and led to the following poetic disaster.
On a lark, myself and the missus
went to the contra dance
at the Commodore Barry
quite some time ago,
(I'm guessing maybe
a couple years back),
and I did not even break a sweat,
nor could yours truly
endure doing more than a few dances
before he got himself winded,
and sat down to watch with envy
at other people enjoying themselves
(the most fun
one can experience
with their clothes on)
courtesy flirting, and faux
courting their partner.
I bowed out of the contra dance scene for awhile
at least until these lovely bones could withstand
cardiovascular vigor necessary on par
for wrestling with a done deed crocodile
cause that's an analogy close to the truth
so call me conventional
and nostalgic for how I pine erstwhile
but despite native doggone grit and guile
and no matter back in the day
yours truly participated in dance marathons
that found me exhausted and immobile
and temporarily incapacitated
such that recourse
to rehabilitative programs
the brainchild of Kurzweil
(first name Raymond)
whose ingenious advanced
assistive technology software programs
designed to aid users
with learning disabilities,
dyslexia, or visual impairments
plus overtaxed muscles
from intense physical workouts
such as thee above
or running the mile
faster than a cheetah
establishing a first
for Guinness World Records
when mandated and linkedin
to being a oenophile
id est wine tasting and connoisseurship
by sampling every single wine
in the quickest amount of time
while sprinting across the country
from one vineyard to another popular vineyard
which subsequently generated cottage industries
hoping to garner
the most refined palette in motion
strictly while traversing on two feet
fiercely competing to lure
yet to be discovered athletic prowess
for an added challenge
unwittingly inviting the spectators
to jawbone contestants
and get themselves willingly pummeled
from amateur pugilists,
whereat the judges awarded
individual with the most heft
wielding outstanding ability
to stomp opponents
hashtagged as grapes of wrath winner
while runners up (troopers nevertheless)
trumpeted as sore losers,
especially when prize
linkedin with a quintet of quintiles
where the first quintile
represents the lowest 1/5 of values
from 0-20% of the range,
the second quintile
includes the values from 20-40%,
the third quintile includes 40-60%,
the fourth quintile includes 60-80%,
and the fifth quintile includes
the highest 1/5 of values from 80-100%
swiftly taylored harried style
birth hoped for brouhaha
requiring military intervention
delivering a measure of hostile mortal kombat
appeasing folks love of violence
reading this poem worthwhile
usage of your time
which attempted to deliver anticipated
sought after bloody coup d'état.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
1 month 4 weeks ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem presents a sprawling, free-associative narrative that blends personal anecdote with cultural references and vivid, if sometimes disjointed, imagery. The voice is conversational and informal, which can create a sense of immediacy and intimacy. However, the poem’s length and density occasionally challenge the reader’s ability to follow its progression and thematic focus.
The poem’s opening situates the reader in a specific social setting—the contra dance—yet quickly moves into metaphorical and tangential territory, such as the “wrestling with a done deed crocodile” analogy and the detailed description of quintiles. These shifts can feel abrupt and may disrupt the poem’s momentum. Clarifying the connections between these images and the poem’s central concerns could enhance coherence.
The poem’s tone oscillates between humor, nostalgia, and a kind of satirical commentary on physical exertion, competition, and social rituals. This multiplicity of tones is intriguing but might benefit from more deliberate modulation to guide the reader’s emotional response and interpretive frame.
The use of extended metaphor and analogy is ambitious, but some images—like the “grapes of wrath winner” contest—are dense and may require unpacking or simplification to avoid alienating readers unfamiliar with the references or the invented scenario.
Line breaks and punctuation are sparse, which contributes to a breathless, stream-of-consciousness effect but can also impede readability. Introducing more varied pacing through strategic line breaks, stanza divisions, or punctuation could help emphasize key moments and provide the reader with necessary pauses.
Overall, the poem’s strength lies in its vivid imagination and willingness to experiment with form and content. Focusing on clarity, structural coherence, and reader accessibility could amplify its impact and make its inventive ideas more resonant.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact