Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

MORNING AMONG THE TOWERS ( minor edit )

Amid the canyons made of steel
a world completely without green
where nature has been brought to heel
still, subtle beauty can be seen

Just prior to morning's sunrise
only sound is distant diesel's rumble
in quickly lightening predawn skies
you can watch white contrails crumble

Tall towers' glasses now reveal
the first lances of the morning light
lending a sharp crystalline feel
to an otherwise stark, sterile sight

Saffron cirrus clouds appear
horse tails in a sky now blue
the day's first pigeons flying near
salt and peppering its muted hue

A street cleaner adds its muffled roar
leaving pavements clean and wet
the sun rises a little more
but hasn't reached the roads quite yet

Now all is still save a stray cat
on a random private quest
seeking a hand out or a rat
to have for morning breakfast guest

The light now reaches wet, washed streets
to make them sparkle like black glass
turning oily water to rainbow treats
' fore the damp beauties dry and pass

Stark sharp edged shadows start to crawl
along drab faces no longer dim
a peregrine flies high and small
what must we look like to him ?

Now crowds appear like colored cattle
along with limos, cabs, and cars
the ells and subways rush and rattle
peace forgotten like now vanished stars

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Bonitaj

Bonitaj

14 years 8 months ago

AH Scribbler!

or should that be MOURNING AMONG THE TOWERS! Nice creative conception around the loss of the humane in modernity!
Cheers

S

scribbler

14 years 8 months ago

towers

why thank you Bonitaj, it's always good to see you have dropped by..........scribbler

Psyve

Psyve

14 years 8 months ago

Scribbler

I thought that was a WONDERFUL description of a city awakening...

You have described in great detail the sequence of events from the first glimpse of daylight to the start of hustle bustle in the streets of the metropolis as people start off their day...

Loved the way you caught the shadows of towers moving across each other and then down to the street as the sun reaches the freshly washed street... the moir effect of light bouncing off an oily water film...

Thank you for sharing this delightful piece.

Psyve

S

scribbler

14 years 8 months ago

towers

and thank you for leaving such a kind comment...........scribbler

S

scribbler

14 years 8 months ago

towers

I think most people like when my poems finally end lol..............stan

mand

mand

14 years 8 months ago

WooW Stan!!!

Lovely imagery - it felt as if I was there. You kept the standard up all the way through - just brilliant Stan.

Would have got a nom from me

Word smith of the year!!

This - so far - is my favourite poem of yours

Love Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

S

scribbler

14 years 8 months ago

towers

I got to thinking folks might think I'd never been in a large city, so as usual I wrote what I've seen. I am glad that you liked this......stan

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

14 years 8 months ago

At 2:51 AM

On the planet's dark side, and here I am, reading this, already seeing and greeting and feeling the dawn.
"Now vanished" should be hyphenated?

I need to read this again, when dawn really breaks, so I can enjoy both.

Most excellent.

S

scribbler

14 years 8 months ago

towers

Thank Jim. I expect this is much better read by people half asleep lol......scribbler

S

scribbler

14 years 8 months ago

towers

Just wanted folks to know that I'm not a " nature snob " but realize beauty is everywhere if we just bother to look.Always nice to see you've dropped by Lonnie........stan