Do you know that feeling?

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem explores the physical and emotional sensations of grief, particularly as experienced in childhood. The structure alternates between direct address and internal reflection, creating a conversational tone that invites the reader into the speaker’s vulnerability. The poem’s central image—“that feeling / at the back of your throat / when you’re about to cry”—serves as a motif, anchoring the narrative in the body’s response to loss.

The dialogue between the speaker and “she” introduces an external perspective, which helps to highlight the isolating nature of grief. The poem’s emotional arc is clear: it moves from questioning and confusion to a vivid recounting of loss and, finally, to a resigned familiarity with sorrow.

Some lines, such as “you were onlu twelve / when you heard them say / only a few months left / until she’s dead?” effectively convey the bluntness with which children can be confronted by mortality. The inclusion of sensory details—“her ice cream in the fridge / and cookies on the shelf”—grounds the poem in concrete memories, making the impending loss more tangible.

There are a few areas where the poem could be strengthened. The transition between the dialogue and the speaker’s internal monologue could be clarified, as the shifts in perspective may cause brief confusion. The line “and you were onlu twelve” appears to contain a typographical error (“onlu” instead of “only”). The poem relies heavily on familiar metaphors for grief (“a rock in my throat, / a dagger in my heart, / butterflies in my stomach”), which, while accurate, might benefit from more original or unexpected imagery to deepen the reader’s engagement.

The poem’s conclusion—“That feeling / when it has been / my dearest friend / since I was twelve”—effectively encapsulates the long-term impact of early loss. The choice to address the reader directly throughout the poem creates intimacy, but the poem could further explore the complexities of that intimacy, perhaps by complicating the relationship between the speaker and the addressee.

Overall, the poem presents a clear emotional narrative and uses accessible language to convey the universality of grief, but it may benefit from more distinctive imagery and a more seamless integration of dialogue and reflection.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

 that you have tried to blend a couple ideas into too few lines.

“No,” she says, “but how?
That’s not fair.
Why do I know that
feeling so well?”

It would make much better sense, to say:

"No, and that's not fair,
how did you know 
I was going to cry?
Why, do I know that feeling so well?

The last six lines are important.

"Now, you tell me; 
"How don't you know it?
That feeling...
when it has been my 
dearest friend 
since I was twelve.

Having been twelve when I lost my grandmother, 
i was devastated; she was living with my Aunt, [her daughter], so there weren't any cookies or ice cream in the freezer, but I lost contact with one of the gentlest souls I have ever met.

Good story from a teenager's perspective. Think about the narrator just needs to get the syntax and clarity right. ~ Geezer.
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pleasure to help our poets make the most out of their work. I understand that it is difficult to speak and write in English, my advice is to read in English whenever you can and read the poets here that interest you. Good luck and hope to see you writing and commenting. [Commenting doesn't have to be technical, just honest]. Tell the author how this made you feel. We appreciate it. ~ Geezer.

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