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Nov 18, 2010
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Gravitas / Back-ordered
.
mythoglyphics bore me
emotionality annoys me
verbosity scares me
clarity's a rarity
too much style gets in the way
too cryptic... and...oy vay!
too long, attention fades
too short...there's nothing more to say?
stock lines
schlock rhymes
well refined
but can't find the meter
that's how it seems
as I scan my old reams
...when sensed not as "the author"
......but as a poor innocent reader!
About This Poem
Last Few Words: poetry sans gravitas is just silly verse...thank you all who supply that special ingredient. It is needed and appreciated.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Race_9togo
14 years 7 months ago
Brittle, this is good.
I stumbled a bit on stanza four, the last line, but then I thought "well, what does the line actually mean", and I gave myself a good chuckle, especially when I found it's rhyme at the end of the last stanza.
"reems"...did you mean "reams", as in "reams of paper"?
I enjoyed the gravitas, heehee.
Ian.T
10 years 6 months ago
Al
One of your oldies that needs a little attention but as Jim found this one to be fine,
Yours Ian.T
brittle light
10 years 6 months ago
what?
what?
Ian.T
10 years 6 months ago
Al
They changed the undiscovered list to two hits so this one ended up in the list so I reinstated it,
Yours Ian