Before It Fell Apart (Revised)

Rewriting Memory

Perhaps it was because I was young and didn’t know
Or because I was depressed and at my wit’s end
That in making detailed plans to take my life
I was contradicting everything I had penned

I was in that dark place where I saw no light or hope
Unhappy with the situation I was in
So there I was, lost at the end of the rope
Without faith and everything I had believed in

When I woke up later in the hospital bed
The reality came crawling back to me
In my failure I had been given another chance
And yet I still felt like I really wasn’t free

It didn’t matter how many times I tried it
If I didn’t look inward, I would never know
The escape I wanted was never meant to be
I had to dig through the roots in order to grow

The dark memory of those several attempts
Are a warning to never go back to that place
It’s a stark reminder of who I used to be
But now I’m in a better, brighter active phase